IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more importnant environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Due to
Linking Words
 human errors, there have been various issues related to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and wildlife creatures.
That is
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 why, over recent years, more and more people have become interested in preserving the Earth and
introduce
Wrong verb form
introducing
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 the latest solutions to solve these matters.
Therefore
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, a huge attention is paid to various fields of environmental problems and how to prioritize these issues. On the one hand, considering the fact that animals and plants make up the vast majority of the Earth’s population, which not only brings nature’s diversity but
also
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 the possibility of living on
this
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 planet is an argument to consider.
Thus
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, various organisations and activists have spent their money and time on adopting multiple methods to preserve wildlife and
plants
Change the noun form
plant
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 species
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and overcome the consequences of
loosing
Replace the word
losing
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 these creatures as well.
For instance
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, by destroying green areas, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 will face climate changes resulting in animals’ extinction, and the shortage of
natureal
Correct your spelling
natural
 resources, eventually.
On the other hand
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, other
group
Change the wording
groups
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 of people claim that communities have to focus on more serious environmental topics than
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 and
plants
Change the noun form
plant
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 losses
such
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 as global warming which is as important as the first category.
Subsequently
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, specific systems have developed to manage more fundamental problems related to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. In
this
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 case, researchers work on matters, with connection to life on the planet and predict kinds of threats to human existence. In conclusion, I do
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that both groups’ statements can be true and essential to guarantee the
creatures
Change noun form
creature's
creatures'
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 lives including humans on the Earth by putting efforts to save wildlife and nature
in addition
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 to other environmental matters.

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introduction
The introduction provides a good starting point but could be more engaging and specific. Try to introduce the two perspectives more clearly and set the stage for a more detailed discussion.
transitions
The essay occasionally lacks clear transitions between ideas, making it a bit challenging to follow the argument. Using more transitional words and phrases would enhance readability.
evidence
Further develop the main points with additional specific examples and evidence. For instance, elaborate more on how global warming poses a bigger threat and provide statistics or case studies.
sentence structure
Some sentences are grammatically correct but could be more precisely phrased. Work on enhancing sentence structures for better clarity and flow.
conclusion
In the conclusion, restate the main points for emphasis and perhaps offer a recommendation or final thought. This would provide a stronger closing to your essay.
balanced discussion
The essay addresses both views on the topic and provides a balanced discussion.
understanding
Good effort in trying to link the loss of species to broader environmental problems, showing an understanding of the interconnectedness of nature.
consistent conclusion
The conclusion successfully reiterates the main viewpoint and aligns with the arguments presented in the body of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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