IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
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In these
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These
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 days,
companies
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 try to showcase their
products
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 as
a
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apply
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new
one
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ones
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 in some way, because
customers
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 are more
intrested
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interested
 in discovering new things and
this
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 can be a positive development.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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companies
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 may try to think outside the box and
also
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 avoid copying from others to create a new
product
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. There is a
competetive
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competitive
 market
in
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apply
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these days all over the world, so advertising plays a significant role
for
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in
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companies
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 to she their
product
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 to the people.
For
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this
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 reason, they should have something new in their
products
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 to convince the target
customers
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for buying
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to buy
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 their
products
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.
For example
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, if you want to buy a
chips
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chip
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, you can see that there are different brands which selling it, having something new and unique to offer has a great impact on the customer, so they use
this
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 feature in
advertisments
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advertisements
 to advertise their
products
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.
In addition
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, sellers become more creative when they try to add some feature to their
product
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 to stand out among other brands with the same
product
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. by doing
this
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, they may stop copying from each other
due to
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 their knowledge that
this
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 copying may reduce their selling rate
,
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apply
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 because
customers
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 are not
intrested
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interested
 in
products
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 that
dose
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does
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 not have anything new for
customers
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. in
this
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rivary
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rivalry
 market, you need to use innovative ways
in
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of
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 advertising
as well as
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 selling.
To sum up
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, not only emphasising new features of a
product
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 can be
eye catching
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eye-catching
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 for many people who want to purchase them, but
also
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 it leads to generating more creativity among brands.
This
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 will suit both
customers
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 and sellers at the same
times
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time
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 as people can enjoy a market with a great
variaty
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variety
 of
products
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 and
companies
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 can sell better as well.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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Language
Ensure that spelling and grammatical errors are minimized. For example, 'intrested' should be 'interested,' and 'competetive' should be 'competitive.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay better to improve logical structure. This means ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting evidence, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples, making sure they are specific and relevant.
Introduction and Conclusion
Include a more thorough introduction that better sets up the essay's main points, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes what has been discussed.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the key questions of why businesses emphasize new products in advertising and whether this is a positive or negative development.
Coherence and Cohesion
The writer makes an effort to discuss both the benefits for consumers and companies.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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