In many countries, governments spend large sums of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Art is an expression of one's mind and feelings, it is one of the most important aspects in

people

Use synonyms

's way of life.

Hence

Linking Words

, we have witnessed many countries spending huge budgets

in promoting

Change preposition

to promote

show examples

the

ministry

Capitalize word

Ministry

show examples

Use synonyms

arts

Capitalize word

Arts

show examples

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

has caused disagreements amongst citizens, with some

people

Use synonyms

arguing that

this

Linking Words

money would rather be spent on health and

education

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides before I give my

opion

Correct your spelling

opinion

. On the one hand,

people

Use synonyms

need to acknowledge that

Correct article usage

the ministry

show examples

ministry

Capitalize word

Ministry

show examples

Use synonyms

arts

Capitalize word

Arts

show examples

plays a very crucial role in our daily

living

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Arts

Use synonyms

can be expressed in many ways,

for example

Linking Words

, music, sculpture, dance,

drama

Correct word choice

and drama

show examples

just to

mension

Correct your spelling

mention

but a few. A lot of

people

Use synonyms

make a living out of

arts

Use synonyms

for

Linking Words

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

there are many musicians who became

millionares

Correct your spelling

millionaires

only by making music.

This

Linking Words

shows how

Use synonyms

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

industry has managed to change the lives of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ordinary citizens. Moreso, governments earn income at the same when these

artist

Change the determiner

artists

show examples

excel in their

endevours

Correct your spelling

endeavours

therefore

Linking Words

the need for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

develop

Fix the infinitive

to develop

show examples

this

Linking Words

sector

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

to make it sustainable.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

argue that it is meaningless to

spent

Change the verb

spend

show examples

money on

leissure

Correct your spelling

leisure

while

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are lacking

Change preposition

show examples

basic health facilities. Misplaced priorities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

when you

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

money on pleasure

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

are dying

due to

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of medications in the hospitals. It is disheartening to see

people

Use synonyms

spending a fortune

Change preposition

show examples

luxury

while

Linking Words

children are failing to get

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

education

Use synonyms

in schools

due to

Linking Words

shortage

Correct article usage

a shortage

show examples

of books.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, I strongly believe that all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

three ministries are equally important.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should find ways to strike a balance in promoting

Use synonyms

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

sector, health system and

education

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, there are certain

childre

Correct your spelling

children

who do not need

education

Use synonyms

to be successful in life, they are good

Change preposition

show examples

arts

Use synonyms

and they need to be facilitated in order to

archieve

Correct your spelling

achieve

their

gooals

Correct your spelling

goals

, so academic

education

Use synonyms

alon

Correct your spelling

alone

will not be enough.

Additionally

Linking Words

Use synonyms

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

can be a good form of healing

Change preposition

for

show examples

certain ailments like depression and stress, some

people

Use synonyms

find healing

from

Change preposition

show examples

the works of

Use synonyms

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

. In conclusion, it is evident that governments should work hard to sufficiently facilitate all these three sectors

inorder

Correct your spelling

in order

show examples

to rightfully serve the

people

Use synonyms

sisalt100Mon Jun 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. For instance, explicitly stating counterarguments and integrating linking phrases could provide better flow between ideas.

task achievement

While the essay covers both perspectives of the argument, it could be improved by providing more comprehensive and detailed ideas. Expanding on points with additional examples or data would strengthen the response.

task achievement

There are several spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., "opinion," "mension," "inorder," "gooals"). Proofreading and correcting these mistakes would improve clarity and professionalism.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a reasonable opinion, showing an understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Overall, the ideas are clear, and the essay covers the requirements of the task, demonstrating comprehension of the topic at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

369 words

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In many countries, governments spend large sums of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mible phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others argue that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in many countries today, crime novels and tv crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. why do you think these tv shows and books are popular what is your opinion of crime fictions and tv dramas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to a company to ask about having them develop a website for your business. In your letter: – Give a brief description of the business – Explain what you’d like to be there on the website – Provide some ideas on use of images on the web site.