IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #car-free #air #pollution
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It is true that in
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
 and age,opinion is divided over whether worldwide
car-free
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day
Use synonyms
 is an effective measure to lower
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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,
while
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 others think there are more efficient methods to accomplish
this
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. Turning first of all to the argument in favour of
this
Linking Words
 idea, it goes without saying that the most successful approach to decrease
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 issue. A
car-free
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day
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
directly cuts
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directly
Replace the adverb
direct
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 cuts down on
reducing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
especially
espeially
Correct your spelling
especially
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
urban
Change preposition
in urban
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 because fewer cars on the road, there is a significant reduction in the burning of gasoline and it leads to
Correct article usage
a boost
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boost
Correct article usage
a boost
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Change preposition
in transportation
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transportation
Change preposition
in transportation
show examples
 usage.
In addition
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, it promotes walking and
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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 awareness. As far as the other
side
Change noun form
side's
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 opinion is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that there are more efficient methods to achieve
this
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 issue and a
car-free
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day
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 is a temporary solution.
it
Capitalize word
It
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 won't make a long-lasting difference.
Instead
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, they suggest more sustainable and long-term solutions,
such
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 as improving public transportation, promoting electric cars, and enforcing stricter emissions regulations. These actions can lead to a more permanent reduction in
air
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pollution
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 by encouraging people to move away from using fossil fuel-powered vehicles. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above, it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of
this
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 debate.
However
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, I am of the opinion that in the grand scheme of things
Use synonyms
car-free
Add an article
a car-free
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 is the best way to
acxomplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
air
Use synonyms
pollusion
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Submitted by yusei.nakano on

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task achievement
Your essay touches on both sides of the debate and offers your opinion, which is good. However, it would benefit from a clearer and more structured presentation of the ideas. Make sure to clearly separate the advantages of each side in different paragraphs.
task achievement
The arguments presented could be better supported with specific examples or data to make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy. Try to avoid combining multiple ideas into a single sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear flow of ideas by using transitional words and phrases. This will help the reader understand the connections between different points in your essay.
task achievement
You have correctly included both sides of the discussion and provided a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a good framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to arrange your points in a logical sequence, which is good for the overall coherence of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
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