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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the percentage of people who use mobile phones in four situations, grouped by four age groups.

The graph shows the percentage of people who use mobile phones in four situations, grouped by four age groups.
#percentage #people #phones #four #situations #age #groups
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The provided bar chart reveals the proportion of mobile phone users being over 18 in different contexts. Information is divided into four
age
Use synonyms
 categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most frequent use of cell
phones
Use synonyms
 belongs to the youngest
age
Use synonyms
 group
while
Linking Words
 the reverse is true for
people
Use synonyms
 in the oldest
age
Use synonyms
 group. Family dinner is the time during which the smallest percentage of phone users is recorded. The percentages of those who are on their
phones
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 using public transport and in restaurants decline consistently with
age
Use synonyms
. Particularly, nine out of ten
people
Use synonyms
 aged 18-29
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 by mass transportation use mobiles
while
Linking Words
 decreases of exactly 10%, 20%, and 35% are witnessed in the remaining three
age
Use synonyms
 groups (30-49, 50-64, and 65+, respectively). Interestingly, the chart
also
Linking Words
 shows an identical trend for
people
Use synonyms
 using
phones
Use synonyms
 in restaurants with the figures being 50%, 40%, 30%, and 15% for four
age
Use synonyms
 groups in ascending order. Meanwhile, the proportion of phone users on the street is similar for all groups at around 80%. Nearly a fifth of the youngest
people
Use synonyms
 observed use their
phones
Use synonyms
 during family
dinner
Fix the agreement mistake
dinners
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 compared to only around 10% in those ages 30 to over 65.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, phones, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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