Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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This

Linking Words

group of

people

Use synonyms

believe that competition in

sports

Use synonyms

is necessary for learning among

children

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. But other

people

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claim that it can have poor influences on them. I will survey both views and my idea

also

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To begin

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with ,

it is clear that

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the majority of

people

Use synonyms

like competitive

sports

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for their

children

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. There are many advantages to competition ,

such

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as improvement , movement to get fresh and trying to gain reward.

Hence

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this

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issue can cause motivation

as well as

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hope.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

must learn to play in equal situations with others.

Thus

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, they learn fairness in their lives.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, sport is a part of education.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is essential to be competitive between two teams or two

people

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

competitive

sports

Use synonyms

are useful for

children

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, they can have some disadvantages. To illustrate ,

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

confidence when one of them

is failed

Wrong verb form

fails

show examples

. Because some

children

Use synonyms

are shy and they get hopeless and lose their motivation. So , it has a negative impact on their education even. In my opinion , competitive

sports

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are crucial like another field for

children

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. Because they should be ready in every field to improve their lives. But I believe that competition must be friendly and it must not have any negative points on their education. In the meantime , positive points are well to encourage them.

To sum up

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, there are some advantages and some disadvantages in competitive

sports

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that academies should decide about

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

according to

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

's conditions and provide many facilities for their needs.

rastaebrahimifarTue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and states your opinion. However, the ideas can be developed more clearly and logically. Providing specific examples to support your points would make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are unclear and would benefit from rephrasing. It’s important to ensure that each idea is fully developed and connected to the overall argument. Try to use transitional words and phrases to enhance coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability. Make sure the introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, and ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and provided your own opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your intention to provide a structured argument is evident with clear separation of ideas and viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life skills
teamwork
leadership
resilience
personal development
professional success
physical health
healthy lifestyle
obesity
real-world challenges
work ethic
cope with pressure
stress
burnout
mental health issues
unrealistic expectations
unhealthy rivalries
bullying
moral values
sportsmanship
overemphasis
academic pursuits
imbalance
undervalue
athletic success

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Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed. Others believe that zoos are necessary for education and conservation.

Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had huge negative effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?