some people say that what individua;s do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Whether it is possible to protect the environment is a highly subjective discussion point.
However
, from this
Change noun form
writer's
writer
experience, it is useful to preserve the natural habitat Change noun form
writer's
due to
advances in technology and Correct article usage
apply
the
public awareness, despite those who believe that Correct article usage
apply
this
may not working
.
It must be understood that the world’s technological system is developed. Change the verb form
work
be working
This
is due to
significant investment in science and technique. With this
in mind, people may find it possible to find out the causes of habitat destruction, then
Correct word choice
and then
looking
for solutions to tackle these problems. Wrong verb form
look
Consequently
, the opportunities are more substantial to prevent further
disasters, leading to an enhanced way of ling
.
Correct your spelling
living
However
, some people think that environmental protection is more than scientist
action but about the cost Replace the word
scientific
for
advancements Change preposition
of
of
the world. Change preposition
in
In other words
, the development may require the usage of natural resources, which have a negative effect on the
nature. They are right to a certain extent, but these problems can Correct article usage
apply
also
be solved by the governments by using renewable sources like solar energy, biomass and icy stone.
From this
writer’s experience, the communities are better acted for environment
by Add an article
the environment
being educate
at school. Change the verb form
being educated
This
is because they may have more chance
to access Fix the agreement mistake
chances
to
Change preposition
apply
the
environmental attention and deal with the challenges worldwide. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, they can also
launch the
campaigns or through advertising to improve the responsibility of people and cooperate in order to create a peaceful world. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, the writer swayed
by public actions, as an effective way Add a missing verb
is swayed
for
pressure issues.
Clearly, Change preposition
to
this
essay has shown that the main factors which protect the ecosystem are technology and educating for
the public. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, to maintain a sustainable life or
future generations.Correct your spelling
for
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on
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introduction conclusion present
Improve your introduction by providing a clearer articulation of both perspectives. Present both views more explicitly before stating your position.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and a logical flow. Your paragraphs should follow a cohesive structure and connect smoothly with each other.
relevant specific examples
Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence. Providing concrete instances will add depth and clarity to your arguments.
complete response
You have made a good attempt to discuss both views and provide your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your language demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
supported main points
You successfully identify causes and solutions, showing a logical approach to the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example