In the past, school children usually learnt by listening to their teacher and by studying their books. Nowadays, many school children learn by using technology in the classroom instead. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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Recent technology advancement has invaded the traditional teaching system, as youngsters are using more technical methods for their learning in their

classroom

Fix the agreement mistake

classrooms

show examples

It is clear that

Linking Words

this

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would help them to gather the necessary information,

while

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it has some drawbacks

such

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as promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. In

this

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essay, both of these positive and negative sides will be discussed. On the bright side, children have wide exposure to new knowledge own to technology. As they are curious about the world, students tend to learn many things even outside of their classroom. Today, some minors are reflecting remarkable skills in programming, business analytics, science and mathematics,

according to

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the latest studies carried out by the USA universities. It basically happened

due to

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the availability of knowledge in the wide network.

In addition

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to that, a lot of demonstrations and tutorials are

aboundant

Correct your spelling

abundant

there that minors to learn hard concepts on their syllabus. Several surveys

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conducted by a famous organization,

for instance

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, express that usage of educational web domains has significantly risen

Change preposition

show examples

70%

among

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show examples

school learning. So they will not get backward among their peers

due to

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the help of these resources.

However

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this

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development

also

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has a major negative impact on their healthy growth. In fact, researchers in Finland have stated that younger's education must not engage for longer periods with smart screens and devices, since they continuously emit harmful

ratiations

Correct your spelling

radiations

radiation

, which cause cancers, visual problems, and brain damage.

Therefore

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, a new generation has a risk of unnecessary exposure to these radiations.

Furthermore

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this

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research reveals more facts about the potential mental issues coming

along with

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high usage of technology,

such

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as depression, addiction, and isolation.

Hence

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students will suffer these kinds of health issues during their childhood because of

this

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trend. In conclusion, alteration of the education in schools is noticeable nowadays,

due to

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new technical features which have been introduced.

Nevertheless

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while

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positive changes can be observed like access to a wide range of information, people should consider and overcome its drawbacks to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the younger generation.

kavinduanupama20Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of using technology in the classroom. However, strive to balance your discussion points more evenly and ensure you elaborate on each one thoroughly. For example, the discussion of health issues is quite detailed, while the advantages section could be expanded further.

coherence cohesion

Work on maintaining logical flow between your sentences and paragraphs. Some of your transitions are abrupt or unclear. For instance, move smoothly from the positive impact to the negative one by using transitional phrases like "on the other hand" or "however."

coherence cohesion

Correct minor grammatical and typing errors to improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing. For example, 'aboundant' should be 'abundant' and 'younger' could be 'younger students'.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, giving a good overview of the essay topic and summarizing key points effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have supported your main points with specific examples and studies, which strengthens your argument and demonstrates your understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your writing covers both the advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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In the past, school children usually learnt by listening to their teacher and by studying their books. Nowadays, many school children learn by using technology in the classroom instead. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Your opinion

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It has been argued that gift giving should not be encouraged, because money is often wasted on things that people do not like or want. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Many people say that universities should only be offered to young students with high marks,others say that they should accept people of all ages,even if they did not do well.Discuss both views and give your opinion.