In the past, people used to travel abroad, so look for a minute differences from their home country.Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons do the advantages of the disadvantages?"

#people #travel #minute #differences #home #country #cities #world

There can be no doubt that the topic of similarity between

cities

in the

world

is one which deserves some analysis.

Change preposition

From

show examples

this

writer's perspective,

this

scenario has resulted from the organization and domination of global brands and the upside

following

this

is outweighed by its negative consequence. The most noticeable factor of

this

issue is the urbanization. In recent years there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a high demand for state-of-the-art constructions including scribe wrappers and

high rise

Add a hyphen

high-rise

show examples

buildings.

Moreover

architectures

Replace the word

architects

show examples

often opt for basic but elegant designs to avoid buildings being perceived as exaggerated or cliche.

Therefore

, more and more constructions in the

world

tend to have fewer intricate details and in black or white

color

Change the spelling

colour

show examples

schemes Globalization from famous brands should

also

be considered. It can be acknowledged that there's an increasing number of global franchises rising up their branches to different places.

This

is to bring the reputation to the whole

world

and make more profits. For that reason, even in developing countries like Vietnam

also

has numerous shops

such

as KFC or Starbucks.

This

writer believes that the

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

this

scenario

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweighed the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

. It can be understood that when

cities

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apply

show examples

all over the

world

become increasingly similar to each other,

travelers

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travellers

show examples

will find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

scene of connection and get rid of

phenomenon

Add an article

a phenomenon

the phenomenon

show examples

called culture shock

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

eat familiar food and beverages.

However

, the issue

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apply

show examples

associated with

this

is the lost national identities. More and more citizens move to

another

Replace the adjective

another city

other cities

show examples

cities

looking for differences from their hometown, but all they can find is just the same as where they live with no unique traits,

hence

, leading to boredom and visitors

will feel

Wrong verb form

feeling

show examples

tedious. In conclusion, it can be seen that

this

issue is the outcome of domination from

franchise

Fix the agreement mistake

franchises

show examples

and globalization.

From

Change the preposition

show examples

this

writer’s opinion, losing national identities outweighs the familiarity of tourists flocking to

cities

Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task prompt, addressing the reasons for the increasing similarity of cities and the advantages and disadvantages associated with this trend. However, to improve your Task Response, ensure that you develop your ideas more fully and include more specific examples to substantiate your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear logical structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some sentences and ideas could flow more smoothly. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a coherent structure.

task achievement

Your writing addresses both parts of the task, discussing both the reasons for and the advantages/disadvantages of the trend.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people used to travel abroad, so look for a minute differences from their home country.Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons do the advantages of the disadvantages?"

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter Give details of the situation Describe the documents Say what action you want the post office to take.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work harder

In some parts of the world, students are required to pass an entrance exam in order to be able to enter university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of passing an entrance exam?

It is believed that children from countries with a high level of unemployment should be offered just with a primary education and not with a secondary education as they in any case will not get a job in the future. Do you agree or disagree?