In the past, people used to travel abroad, so look for a minute differences from their home country.Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons do the advantages of the disadvantages?"

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There can be no doubt that the topic of similarity between
cities
in the
world
is one which deserves some analysis.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
this
writer's perspective,
this
scenario has resulted from the organization and domination of global brands and the upside
following
this
is outweighed by its negative consequence. The most noticeable factor of
this
issue is the urbanization. In recent years there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
a high demand for state-of-the-art constructions including scribe wrappers and
high rise
Add a hyphen
high-rise
show examples
buildings.
Moreover
,
architectures
Replace the word
architects
show examples
often opt for basic but elegant designs to avoid buildings being perceived as exaggerated or cliche.
Therefore
, more and more constructions in the
world
tend to have fewer intricate details and in black or white
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
schemes Globalization from famous brands should
also
be considered. It can be acknowledged that there's an increasing number of global franchises rising up their branches to different places.
This
is to bring the reputation to the whole
world
and make more profits. For that reason, even in developing countries like Vietnam
also
has numerous shops
such
as KFC or Starbucks.
This
writer believes that the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
this
scenario
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweighed the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
. It can be understood that when
cities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the
world
become increasingly similar to each other,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
will find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
scene of connection and get rid of
phenomenon
Add an article
a phenomenon
the phenomenon
show examples
called culture shock
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
eat familiar food and beverages.
However
, the issue
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
associated with
this
is the lost national identities. More and more citizens move to
another
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
cities
looking for differences from their hometown, but all they can find is just the same as where they live with no unique traits,
hence
, leading to boredom and visitors
will feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
tedious. In conclusion, it can be seen that
this
issue is the outcome of domination from
franchise
Fix the agreement mistake
franchises
show examples
and globalization.
From
Change the preposition
In
show examples
this
writer’s opinion, losing national identities outweighs the familiarity of tourists flocking to
cities
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task prompt, addressing the reasons for the increasing similarity of cities and the advantages and disadvantages associated with this trend. However, to improve your Task Response, ensure that you develop your ideas more fully and include more specific examples to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some sentences and ideas could flow more smoothly. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay a coherent structure.
task achievement
Your writing addresses both parts of the task, discussing both the reasons for and the advantages/disadvantages of the trend.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: