in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days,
people
are becoming more and more interested
to
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in
show examples
urban life ,so a large group of
people
who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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in rural
areas
are starting new
life
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lives
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in big cities and it causes
to have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a decrease in
Correct article usage
the rural's
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rural's
Change noun form
rural
show examples
population.I think it can have some negative effects
for
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on
show examples
countries ,and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
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I
show examples
will explain
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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my reasons with examples.
Firstly
,many individuals who live in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
are experienced
for
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in
show examples
rural
works
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work
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like
agricultur
Correct your spelling
agriculture
and animal husbandry, so when they
immagrate
Correct your spelling
immigrate
immigrated
to the cities they can not use their skills and they should start working in occupations which they did not have done ever. It means ,there will be a decrease in
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of
experties
Correct your spelling
expertise
and an increase in
un-skilled
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unskilled
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workers.
secondly
, rural productions like crops,
diary
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dairy
show examples
and meat are very essential and if
people
leave farms and
agricultrual
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agricultural
lands in
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
,
food
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the food
show examples
industry will suffer. It can
face
Verb problem
cause
show examples
governments and
people
to lack of groceries and the food prices will rise.
Also
with
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in ask for housing in urban
areas
,the house prices will rocket.
In other words
, we will have some urban
areas
with high
population
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populations
show examples
and high prices and some rural
areas
with low
population
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populations
show examples
and poverty will increase in two
areas
.
On the other hand
,there are some talented
people
who live in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
and if they can be in a suitable environment and good situation they would flourish.
some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
difficulties of rural life can demolish their creativity and their talents. In conclusion,
although
cities are
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
place
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places
show examples
for some
people
to reach their best abilities,
i
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I
show examples
think, countries need rural
people
and rural
areas
to maintain their economy stable and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
supply food and other products for all
people
.
Submitted by taranajafi90 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific consequences of reduced agricultural production or give an example of a talented individual flourishing in an urban environment.
task achievement
Improve the range of vocabulary and use more varied sentence structures. This will help to convey your ideas more effectively and make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'immagrate', 'diary', 'ask for housing', etc. Carefully proofread your essay to minimize such mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and consistent connectors and linking words to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the negative and the potential positive aspects of rural-urban migration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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