in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days,
people
are becoming more and more interested to
urban life ,so a large group of Change the preposition
in
people
who lived
in rural Wrong verb form
live
areas
are starting new life
in big cities and it causes Fix the agreement mistake
lives
to have
a decrease in Verb problem
apply
Correct article usage
the rural's
rural's
population.I think it can have some negative effects Change noun form
rural
for
countries ,and in Change preposition
on
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will explain Change the capitalization
I
more
my reasons with examples.
Correct quantifier usage
apply
Firstly
,many individuals who live in countryside
are experienced Add an article
the countryside
for
rural Change preposition
in
works
like Fix the agreement mistake
work
agricultur
and animal husbandry, so when they Correct your spelling
agriculture
immagrate
to the cities they can not use their skills and they should start working in occupations which they did not have done ever. It means ,there will be a decrease in Correct your spelling
immigrate
immigrated
number
of Change the article
a number
the number
experties
and an increase in Correct your spelling
expertise
un-skilled
workers.
Correct your spelling
unskilled
secondly
, rural productions like crops,diary
and meat are very essential and if Correct your spelling
dairy
people
leave farms and agricultrual
lands in Correct your spelling
agricultural
countryside
, Add an article
the countryside
food
industry will suffer. It can Add an article
the food
face
governments and Verb problem
cause
people
to lack of groceries and the food prices will rise.Also
with increase
in ask for housing in urban Correct article usage
an increase
areas
,the house prices will rocket.In other words
, we will have some urban areas
with high population
and high prices and some rural Fix the agreement mistake
populations
areas
with low population
and poverty will increase in two Fix the agreement mistake
populations
areas
.
On the other hand
,there are some talented people
who live in countryside
and if they can be in a suitable environment and good situation they would flourish. Add an article
the countryside
some times
difficulties of rural life can demolish their creativity and their talents.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
Sometimes
although
cities are good
Add an article
a good
Fix the agreement mistake
places
place
for some Fix the agreement mistake
places
people
to reach their best abilities,i
think, countries need rural Change the capitalization
I
people
and rural areas
to maintain their economy stable and can
supply food and other products for all Verb problem
apply
people
.Submitted by taranajafi90 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific consequences of reduced agricultural production or give an example of a talented individual flourishing in an urban environment.
task achievement
Improve the range of vocabulary and use more varied sentence structures. This will help to convey your ideas more effectively and make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
There are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'immagrate', 'diary', 'ask for housing', etc. Carefully proofread your essay to minimize such mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and consistent connectors and linking words to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view by discussing both the negative and the potential positive aspects of rural-urban migration.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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