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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below show average age of men and women retired from work in 7 countries in 2004 and 2008.

The bar graphs illustrate the information about the average of the male and female’s
age
Use synonyms
 retiring in 7 different nations between 2004 and 2008.
This
Linking Words
 figure is measured in years old(
YO
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
, in
both
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 males and females, the average
age
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 of people in 2004 was lower than the average
age
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 of people in 2008 with the exception of Italy.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 is a country which has the oldest average retirement
age
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both
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 male and female. Looking at the men’s chart, we can clearly see that Germany and Denmark had the same trend which in 2008 saw a higher
age
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 by 1
YO
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 (60 and 61 in Germany; 59 and 60 in Denmark). France, the UK, the Netherlands and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had a similar tendency which in 2004 witnessed a lower of nearly 0.5
YO
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 has the highest average
age
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 2004 and 2008 at 63
YO
Use synonyms
 and nearly 64
YO
Use synonyms
. In Italy, there was the same data in
both
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 sexes at 58
YO
Use synonyms
. Turning back to the women’s chart, it can be seen that Germany, Denmark, France and Italy were the four nations which had average
age
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 under 60
YO
Use synonyms
. The others
such
Linking Words
 as the Netherlands,
Sweden
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 and the UK were the countries which had higher 60
YO
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 sexes and in
both
Use synonyms
 years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, yo, both, sweden with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average age
  • retirement
  • comparative analysis
  • trend
  • significant
  • age gap
  • correlation
  • life expectancy
  • pension policies
  • societal norms
  • economic conditions
  • regions
  • investigation
  • findings
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