Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree or disagree?
In the cutting-edge society, it is argued that local authorities should pay attention to
alleviate
pollution in the public and Wrong verb form
alleviating
issues
of private accommodation with the purposes
of making sickness and Fix the agreement mistake
purpose
pandemic
Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
can be
preventable. The writer completely agrees with Verb problem
apply
this
statement due to
benefits
of reducing adverse emissions and eliminating Correct article usage
the benefits
insects
.
It is crucial to understand that by concentrating on dealing with environmental issues
, governments can limit a
huge amount of bad releases. It should be acknowledged that the threatened gases Correct article usage
the
such
as CO2, SO2
, tend to Correct word choice
and SO2
affect
adversely to individuals’ well-being. Rephrase
negatively affect
However
, the authorities may prevent numerous diseases due to
strict regulations about transports
and industrial sites. Fix the agreement mistake
transport
For example
, lung
Correct article usage
the lung
cancer’s
percentage Change noun form
cancer
decrease
swiftly in the USA because of falling in Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
quantity
of released emissions from vehicles and factories. Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
Thus
, people’s breathing can be enhanced and ensured not to be damaged and effortless prevention of breathing problems.
Another point worth considering is that insects
may be eliminated by focusing on building issues
. It should be noted that if there is a fewer
number of Correct word choice
smaller
insects
, residents will not get severe infectious diseases that create a worldwide pandemic. Consequently
, citizens may have a daily life without insects
which have an adverse impact on individuals’ health. Take the
Covid-19 for Correct article usage
apply
an
instance, which was created by specific Correct article usage
apply
insects
, the infection of these virus
Change the determiner
this virus
these viruses
lead
to degradation in Wrong verb form
led
economy
and well-being. Correct article usage
the economy
Hence
, governments can effortlessly control the root of many problems.
In conclusion, it is advantageous for the authorities to focus on environments
and Replace the word
environmental
constructions
Change the noun form
construction
issues
. Furthermore
, these enhancements making
our Wrong verb form
make
life
better at both physical and mental healthFix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
Revise sentences to improve clarity and coherence. Some parts of the essay are difficult to understand due to awkward phrasing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your main points. This would strengthen your arguments and make your response more convincing.
overall
Concentrate on eliminating minor grammatical errors and refining your sentence structure to enhance overall readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by addressing both environmental pollution and housing issues.
coherence cohesion
The writer effectively organizes the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?