Some people say that what children watch on television influences their behaviour while other say the amount of time children spend watching television influences their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are various opinions concerning the influences of watching
TV
on children
. Some people argue that it is the
Correct article usage
apply
television
content
that impacts
children
's behaviors
, Change the spelling
behaviours
while
others maintain that the time
spent watching television
accounts more
. Change preposition
for more
This
essay will explore the two perspectives and present my own opinions.
Many people suggest that television
content
has a significant impact on children
's behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
First,
children
are susceptible, thereby tending to imitate what they have seen on programs. To illustrate, watching cartoons with violent elements may make children
more aggressive. Moreover
, related research also
suggests that children
who have been exposed to media with violent content
show more aggression than those who have not.
On the other hand
, some people insist that it is the time
spent watching television
that matters. From their perspective, the excessive use of screens may lead to negative behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
such
as reduced physical activity and a lack of social skills. For instance
, children
who spend too much time
watching TV
may not have sufficient time
to exercise and engage in social interactions. According to
research, children
who spend too much time
on TV
programs are more likely to suffer from obesity and academic failures.
In my opinion, although
both
TV
content
and the time
spent watching TV
influence children
's behavior
, the influence of Change the spelling
behaviour
content
is more essential and direct. While
it is undeniable that excessive screen time
brings long-term adverse impacts
, the negative impacts
of inappropriate content
are more immediate and profound. Therefore
, parents should pay attention to both
the content
and the amount of time
their children
spend watching TV
to ensure positive guidance and management.
In conclusion, both
TV
content
and the time
spent watching TV
affect
Change the verb form
affects
children
's behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
Although
excessive screen time
brings long-term adverse influences, the impacts
of inappropriate content
are more immediate and profound. Therefore
, parents should pay attention to both
the content
and the amount of time
their children
spend watching TV
to ensure positive guidance and management.Submitted by hx88375757 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Strengthen your argument by providing more varied examples. This will demonstrate a broader understanding of the topic and contribute to a more persuasive argument.
coherence cohesion
You can improve coherence by using a greater variety of transitional phrases and connectives to link your ideas smoothly. This will help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and outlines the perspectives very well. This ensures the reader understands the main points right from the beginning.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, reinforcing the overall argument of the essay.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs for each perspective, which makes it easy to follow and understand.
supported main points
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as research on violent content and screen time, which strengthens the credibility of your arguments.
complete response
The discussion maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout, ensuring that every paragraph contributes to answering the task question.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!