IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

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Around the world, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 are opting to purchase imported groceries
instead
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 of locally produced
food
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.
This
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 is happening
due to
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 perceived
quality
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 action could be taken to promote the consumption of local produce
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 government policies. It is vital to understand that
Vietnamese
Correct article usage
the Vietnamese
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a major belief in imported items
due to
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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quality
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. There is no doubt
about
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apply
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that by state of the art technology and methods they have, other countries can easily improve the
quality
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 of
food
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 which is imported, for that
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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, customers almost do not have any doubt about the standard of imported products.
Consequently
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,
food
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 which is produced from other nations is more popular than domestic.
Therefore
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, it explains why there is an increasing number of local
people
Use synonyms
 who make a decision to buy imported
food
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instead
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 of domestic products. Having
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other nations is not a bad thing but
inhabit
Verb problem
improving
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 local products’ improvement is a problem
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be cautious about because it is a major obstacle to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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 a
develop
Replace the word
developed
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 country.
This
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 is a complex issue but can be dealt with by the government’s intervention. By strict policies, a country can encourage local
people
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 to buy groceries origin from their nation. They can implement some
advertisements
Change the noun form
advertisement
show examples
 projects to raise awareness of the community.
Hence
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, a reasonable policy can lead to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of agriculture and domestic
food
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.
Thus
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, some
people
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 can overrate the
quality
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 of imported
food
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,
as well as
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 do not really pretension
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 domestic one.
However
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, it can be addressed by the intervention of the government, leading to a new future for the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.

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task achievement
While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt, it should provide more specific examples to support its arguments effectively. Including data, anecdotes, or quotes could strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Some ideas were repeated and could be streamlined for greater clarity. Transition phrases can also improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
language use
Minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases were noted. For example, 'Vietnamese has a major belief' could be 'Vietnamese people have a strong belief.' Cleaning these up would improve readability.
conclusion
The conclusion is present and ties back to the main arguments, which is good. To enhance it, you might consider summarizing the key points more succinctly.
task achievement
The essay tackles both questions posed in the prompt, offering reasons why people prefer imported food and suggesting ways to promote local products.
introduction conclusion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion reasonably echoes the main points.
language use
The essay shows good effort in employing complex sentence structures and vocabulary, which demonstrates a higher level of language competence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
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