Parents should punish their children when they do something wrong, do you agree or not ?

#parents #children

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It’s argued that

parents

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can punish their

children

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when they do something wrong.

While

Linking Words

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

this

Linking Words

idea to some extent , I do believe

parents

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need to use

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

methods to educationally punish their kids.

Firstly

Linking Words

parents

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punish

children

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to remind them to identify dangerous situations from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

early age.

Children

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are curious about everything and do what they want to do when they are little, and they don’t know whether it’s safe or dangerous. It’s important for

parents

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to tell them the things that should be avoided

to do

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. The best time to teach

children

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is when they

did

Wrong verb form

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something dangerous.

For example

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, some

children

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aren’t conscious that they aren’t allowed to touch

knife

Fix the agreement mistake

knives

show examples

. When

parents

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see

this

Linking Words

, they should tap their hands as

the

Correct article usage

show examples

punishment

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to remind them that

this

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is dangerous. In

this

Linking Words

case,

children

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will remember that they should be careful to use the knife.

Secondly

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parents

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should punish their

children

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only for

educating

Replace the word

educational

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purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

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, and violence shouldn’t be allowed as a way of

punishment

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. The reason why

parents

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punish their

children

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is that they want them to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

and do

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

things. The

punishment

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isn’t a way to blow off steam which

hurt

Wrong verb form

hurts

show examples

children

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instead

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of educating and protecting them.

Children

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are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

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punished by violence may hate their

parents

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in the future, and

this

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isn’t helpful

to cultivate

Change preposition

in cultivating

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their personalities. In conclusion,

while

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punishment

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from

parents

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can serve as a critical teaching tool, it is imperative that it is administered with the utmost care and educational intent. Punishments should be designed not to harm but to instruct, guiding

children

Use synonyms

towards understanding the consequences of their actions in a safe and supportive environment.

Submitted by millstonelee on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay generally addresses the task effectively and the main points are clear. However, try to elaborate more on the specific methods of non-violent punishment to provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear and ideas are generally well-organized. To further improve, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using appropriate linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

The examples you provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Parents should punish their children when they do something wrong, do you agree or not ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

You are due to start new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter: • Explain your situation • Describe your problems • Tell him or her when you think you can start.