In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many places around the world,
people
have to pay for
health
care
, but some individuals argue that medical services should be paid
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
the governments. As far as I am concerned I disagree with the latter. In
this
essay, I will explain why. There are multiple
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
think that
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
for
health
care
is not right, and they believe it should be
government
Correct article usage
a government
show examples
duties
Fix the agreement mistake
duty
show examples
. These
people
sustain that governments have to cover all the medical expenditures for every
citizens
Change to a singular noun
citizen
show examples
.
For instance
, these individuals want
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
institutions
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to pay,
instead
of them and all
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
, for all medicines and for the
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
salaries. Personally, I think is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
utopic thought that these
people
are doing about it. By the way, there are good reasons
for
Fix the infinitive
to for
show examples
pay medical
care
. In many countries,
people
must pay for their
health
care
, sometimes with different systems, but it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
However
, doctors have the faculty of
save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, as much as medicines, those are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
paid for
health
care
.
For example
, in
Italy
Add a comma
Italy,
show examples
people
usually pay for medical
care
through a specific tax.
This
money is collected from all citizens in order to have enough funds to pay hospitals medicines,
doctors'
Correct word choice
and doctors'
show examples
salaries for everybody. In conclusion, governments without financial
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
from
population
Add an article
a population
the population
show examples
can not pay for everything, especially
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
can not
covered
Change the verb form
cover
show examples
all medical
care
services for each individual. I believe that every person should
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
,
thus
people
have to pay for
health
care
services.
Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay consistently addresses the prompt. While you discuss reasons for paying for healthcare, make sure to connect them clearly to your disagreement with free healthcare services provided by the government.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should present a single clear idea that supports your main argument, and the flow between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using transition phrases to enhance coherence.
task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as statistics, case studies, or other concrete evidence. This will make your argument more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument effectively.
task response
The writer clearly presents their opinion in the introduction, which is maintained throughout the essay. This demonstrates a consistent task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!