IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

#cities #people #neighbors #sense #community #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In numerous urban areas around the globe, it is becoming increasingly common for individuals to be unfamiliar with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
, leading to a loss of
community
Use synonyms
spirit
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon and propose some potential solutions. The primary cause of
this
Linking Words
 issue is the rapid pace of urbanization and modernization. As cities expand and populations increase, people often find themselves living amongst a vast number of strangers. High-rise apartment buildings and gated communities,
while
Linking Words
 providing privacy and security,
also
Linking Words
 contribute to the isolation of individuals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the advent of technology has led to a shift in social interactions from face-to-face to online platforms, reducing the need for physical interaction with
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. Another contributing factor is the demanding nature of modern lifestyles. People are often so engrossed in their work, studies, or personal pursuits that they have little time or energy left to socialize with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 lack of interaction leads to a sense of detachment and loss of
community
Use synonyms
spirit
Use synonyms
. To reverse
this
Linking Words
 trend, it is crucial to foster a sense of
community
Use synonyms
 within
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
. One possible measure could be the organization of regular
community
Use synonyms
 events
such
Linking Words
 as festivals, sports tournaments, or social gatherings. These events provide an opportunity for
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 to interact, build relationships, and strengthen
community
Use synonyms
 bonds.
Additionally
Linking Words
, urban planning and housing policies can play a significant role in promoting
community
Use synonyms
spirit
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, designing residential areas with common spaces
such
Linking Words
 as parks or
community
Use synonyms
 centers can encourage interaction among residents.
Similarly
Linking Words
, housing policies could promote a mix of housing types to accommodate families of various sizes and ages, fostering a diverse and vibrant
community
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the loss of
community
Use synonyms
spirit
Use synonyms
 in cities is a concerning issue, it is not insurmountable. Through a combination of
community
Use synonyms
 initiatives, thoughtful urban planning, and housing policies, it is possible to foster a strong sense of
community
Use synonyms
 and ensure that people know their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Submitted by saifurwriting9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Enhance the depth of explanations and examples for an even clearer understanding.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied transitional phrases to improve flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Well-organized essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are well supported and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: