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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples.

#people #health #future
Health
 is,always considered by many, a precious gift to all of us. In
this
 day and age,
people
's average
health
 standard is supposed to be decreasing in the coming days as compared to now. I strongly support
this
 notion and
this
 essay will discuss why the average standard of
people
's
health
 is likely to be lower in the future than it is now with relevant reasons and illustrations.
Firstly
,
aging
Correct article usage
the aging
show examples
 population and chronic diseases are the result of
sedentary
Correct article usage
the sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle adopted by the
people
.
Hence
, it directly affects the physical
health
.
For instance
, more and more
people
 are prone to obesity. They adopted poor dietary habits, which have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on their
health
.
Moreover
, technological advancements
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 contributing to
this
 serious concern. With the advancement of technology,
people
 are becoming lethargic. Ultimately,
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 are not positive, as concerned with their
health
. To add on, environmental pollution has
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
show examples
 impact on the standard of
people
's
health
. Some industries release chemicals into the air, which cause harm to the ozone layer that shields us from UV radiation.
Furthermore
,
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 is one of the primary reasons for
this
 massive environmental pollution.
To conclude
, poor lifestyle, advanced technology and environmental pollution have detrimental impacts on the average standard of
people
's
health
, which means
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lower it in the future than in the present.
Submitted by krnveerrsingh on

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grammar
Try to reduce any grammatical errors such as 'Health is, always considered' which should be 'Health is always considered'.
grammar
Make sure to proofread for punctuation errors, for example, 'With the advancement of technology', would be clearer without the comma.
content
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.
content
Clear introduction and conclusion.
content
Good attempt at providing reasons and illustrations for the viewpoint.
structure
Generally coherent and follows a logical structure.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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