Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is universally acknowledged that art and sport play a key role in the

diversity

Replace the word

diverse

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spheres of life, so concentrating on them would benefit various aspects of personalities and interpersonal skills. I believe that spending

Remove the article

apply

show examples

capital to develop art and mobility at

school

Use synonyms

would work better than

general

Add an article

the general

show examples

public. It is undeniable that some pupils hate

school

Use synonyms

and it is not attractive for them at all

due to

Linking Words

enormous

Correct article usage

the enormous

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pressure and stress which are put on students.

However

Linking Words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

developing these two subjects in schools' curriculum,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will appeal to pupils and they will enjoy it.

In addition

Linking Words

, the scientific assessments reveal that art

such

Linking Words

as playing

piano

Change the article

the piano

show examples

or drawing a portrait could relieve stress and

also

Linking Words

playing games which need cooperation could improve their personalities. In

this

Linking Words

case, the schools could educate them in not only

school

Use synonyms

subjects but

also

Linking Words

mental health. Another significant reason would be reducing the waste time. To elaborate

further

Linking Words

, most

juveniels

Correct your spelling

juveniles

juvenile

dedicate the majority of their time to social media;

hence

Linking Words

, it will be a good opportunity for them to reduce it and become

telented

Correct your spelling

talented

in their favourite skills.

For example

Linking Words

, during break time, playing games

such

Linking Words

as football or volleyball could be a beneficial

sunstitution

Correct your spelling

substitution

substitutions

for them to be professional in them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

idea definitely does not reduce the necessity of public sports or less consideration

Change preposition

show examples

them because not just the youth but

also

Linking Words

the whole family requires leisure activities. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adolescent is incredibly sensitive age in

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a lot of pressure on them. Governments' concentration

through

Change preposition

show examples

putting these helpful subjects on their

school

Use synonyms

schedule could help juveniles to improve their characteristics.

TUTOOTue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, but there are some inconsistencies and inaccuracies in arguments presented. Ensure each argument is fully supported and logically sequenced to improve coherency.

coherence cohesion

To strengthen coherence, try using linking phrases and transition words more effectively. Additionally, make sure all points are elaborated upon and linked smoothly to the main argument.

general advice

A few grammatical errors and awkward phrases were noted. Proofreading and using a more varied vocabulary can enhance clarity and precision of expression.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets up the topic and the writer’s perspective.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the author's position.

complete response

The essay addresses multiple aspects of the prompt, discussing both the development of sports and arts for school students and the importance of public sports.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
physical health
creativity
teamwork skills
nurture young talents
excel
healthy lifestyle
cultural appreciation
extracurricular activities
socio-economic background
social inequality
profit-driven
allocated funds

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Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public. Do you agree or disagree?

Some Children spend a long time each day on their smartphone. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.