Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
The role of doctors extends beyond diagnosing and treating illnesses. They possess valuable knowledge and expertise that can empower patients to improve their health. Therefore, I strongly agree that doctors should be responsible for educating their patients about how to enhance their well-being.
There are ongoing debates regarding the advantages of global cooperation. Some argue that the prevention of environmental problems is the main benefit, while others believe that world business is the primary interest. In this essay, I will consider both points of view and present my perspective.
Nowadays, overseas travel is more popular towards society , unlike the previous times. Consequently, we would rather meet more people that do not seem to originate from our country, as well as we are aware that many of our relatives prefer to go abroad to spend their leisure time. Many people, especially in Indonesia, feel that this trend creates negative impacts on the domestic nation. However, I would argue that cross-border tourism benefits the local society for two essential reasons.