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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Domestic migration from remote villages to modern towns and sprawling mega-cities constitutes a dominant trend in the twenty-first century. As a result, residents of rural areas are declining while those of urban regions are climbing. I wholeheartedly consider this to be a drawback owing to several malicious ramifications encompassing a reduction in agricultural products as well as public services.
In today's world, many parents place immense pressure on their children to succeed for various reasons. From my perspective, while their intentions may be well-meaning, this phenomenon has significant negative consequences.
It is often argued that the Government should provide funds for the public to prevent upcoming health issues and diseases. I fully agree with this group of people because by raising awareness and increasing taxes for fast food, the community will be healthier and will have less need for medical treatments.
Environmental issues have become widespread concern about its threat. While some people believe that this problem ought to be tackled internationally, others argue that environmental degradation is the responsibility of the country itself. Both of the aforementioned perspectives will be discussed in the following paragraphs alongside the reasons behind them.
A plastic bottle or a scrambled paper thrown carelessly on the road, how common a sight is this? I am sure each one of us can picture these images in our heads but have we ever thought of the detrimental impact it has on our environment? Every problem has its causes and potential solutions, this essay will highlight some of these in detail.