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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Since I started working with this company over the past six months, I have been having a really disturbing health challenge. I have been diagnosed with chronic low back pain for about four months now, and it doesn't seem like it is going to improve despite being on several analgesics.
Learning a different language helps us to explore different countries according to their culture and taste. It helps us learn new things and acquire important skills for life.some masses believe that learning a foreign language helps us to travel and get work in a foreign country whereas others believe that it is not essential to learn another languagelanguage.we will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraph.In my opinion, learning many languages helps us understand the world around us and appreciate its diversity.
It is popularly believed in society that residents have the right of self-managing their income, instead of spending on tax revenue. The writer of this essay disagrees with this statement, primarily due to the importance of social welfare. However, others are opposed to this belief when it comes to personal satisfaction.
In the ongoing debate about government spending priorities, a contentious issue is whether funds should be allocated more towards education or sports and recreation. While both sectors play crucial roles in societal development, this essay argues in favor of allocating a higher proportion of government resources to education. The rationale behind this position lies in the long-term benefits that a well-educated populace can bring to a nation's progress and prosperity.
The unemployment problem has been a long-discussed course in almost every country in the world. It has now become a huge matter in developed countries as the number of unemployed citizens is rising. However, numerous people from developing countries still consider immigrating to the developed ones. Thus, in this essay, I will explain the reasons for this movement.