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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
As technology is growing, companies are trying to advertise their products in a sensational way, and it is crucial that they emphasize that their products are new and better compared to other companies. In my opinion, this sort of competition in the advertising industry is a positive development and a healthy way to grow the company.
It is not unusual for people to choose more fast food as their meals nowadays. In my opinion, I support the view that the benefits of this phenomenon far outweigh its drawbacks.
The advances in technology have proven to be a 'boon and bane' for the community. The statement explains that excessive use of electronic media has unacceptable effects on the reading and writing skills of youngsters. I partially agree with the statement and the grounds of my perception shall be discussed in this essay.
Despite knowing the fact that Health Services is a basic requirement of people, many private clinics and hospitals made it expensive for the common man. Usually, it has both advantages and disadvantages, and people believe that its merits outweigh its demerits. I also agree with the same.
The assertion that it is sometimes better not to tell the truth is a complex topic that invites a wide range of ethical considerations. In my opinion, while honesty is generally the best policy, there are circumstances where withholding the truth or telling a white lie can be justified to prevent harm, maintain peace, or protect someone's feelings.