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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Nowadays, many undergraduate students are willing to gain knowledge beyond their main subjects. Despite this, others say that it is more crucial for them to pay their all attention and time on their own major. This has been a debatable case, however, in my opinion, students have their rights to explore and learn other subjects.
Both the city and the countryside have many drawbacks and advantages. Many people believe it is better to live in a city while others think it is better to live in a rural place. In this essay, I will discuss both visions and give my opinion.
It is argued that governments should invest in railways instead of roads. I completely agree with this point of view because railways are more environmentally friendly and can also be more economical.
Basic healthcare is a basic human right, but having a free system has both upsides and downsides. This essay will discuss them, including the ideas of how such a system is essential for poorer elements of society and the problems of paying for and maintaining a system like this. Overall, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
The assertion that most individuals do not care sufficiently about environmental issues is a complex and multifaceted one. While it is true that some people may not prioritize environmental concerns, dismissing the collective effort and concern for the environment would be an oversimplification. It is essential to acknowledge the diverse range of perspectives and actions regarding environmental issues.