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coherence cohesion
Your letter lacks a clear and logical structure. Consider organizing your thoughts more coherently into paragraphs that each explore different aspects of your message.
coherence cohesion
The greeting 'Dear Hung' is appropriate, but the closing 'Love you Hung' could be seen as too casual, especially considering the unusual nature of your request. Consider a more balanced closing.
task achievement
You need to address the main purpose of your letter more clearly and suitably. The topic you've chosen to discuss is very personal and might not be appropriate for a letter format. Reflect on the tone and appropriateness of the content.
task achievement
Your request might come across as insensitive and awkward. Consider expressing your thoughts in a more thoughtful and considerate manner.
task achievement
You have made an effort to communicate your feelings and reached out to your friend, which shows your willingness to connect.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes a greeting and a closing, framing your letter in a conventional format.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Certain employers are valuing other skills, like good communication and social skills, rather than a good CV and other qualifications required. I strongly do not agree with this, as I think that social skills can easily be developed and improved all throughout the working period, and that specific qualifications to attain the job are far more crucial, others believe that it is the opposite, in fact people can get used to the workplace and adapt and continue working even with not as good qualifications.
Many individuals think that charity organisation should support people of their domestic country. However, I strongly argue that the charity should provide financial aid across the world.
In the present world, many elderly people are having longer lives year by year. Some people say this tendency could cause many problems, especially for the government, while others think it could be advantageous. In my opinion, the prevalence of people who have longer lives has considerable benefits compared to its disadvantages. This essay will describe the advantages and the disadvantages, as well as relevant examples.
The organization of international sports events is good for the country, while it is a common belief that it is bad. On the one hand, support for the county will promote public good and generate more income. However, others can increase the crime rate and cause traffic congestion when concentrated in the overcrowded. This essay will explain why and give my opinion.
Irrefutably, forests have a huge influence on people’s lives virtually all around the world. Considering this scenario, some people believe that deforestation and hunting should permit the people, however, others believe that it is part of our society to keep alive our ecosystem. I completely agree with the statement. This essay will examine the above-given argument about deforestation and illegal hunting before reaching any staunch conclusion.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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