In many countries, more and more men are staying at home to look after their children when women work full-time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?
I believe that the content of
this
question is a thought provoking
, disputable and debatable issue in the contemporary world at present, and I am inclined to think that it is a negative development for a variety of hypothesized and pertinent factors. Add a hyphen
thought-provoking
Therfore
, I could elucidate Correct your spelling
Therefore
this
topic to prove my inclination and hypothesis as correct.
Firstly
, it is evident in many parts of the world that the
Correct article usage
apply
mens
Correct your spelling
men
use
to Wrong verb form
used
work
full time compare
to Wrong verb form
compared
women
. Men
can work
hard physically where
Correct word choice
whereas
women
can't work
hard as the women
were
Wrong verb form
are
expert
in Fix the agreement mistake
experts
the
household Correct article usage
apply
work
for instance
a mother knows how to take care a
baby more than the Change preposition
of a
men
do and they keep an
expertise in managing the daily Remove the article
apply
households
routines and Fix the agreement mistake
household
men
are way to lazy to do the household things.
Secondly
, the reason for
Change preposition
apply
men
are staying at home
to look after their children are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
as
they enjoy being at Correct word choice
that
home
without any work
and they choose to look after their children, as the pandamic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
hits
back in 2020 all workers are working from Correct subject-verb agreement
hit
home
from here they got an
Correct article usage
a
habbit
of staying Correct your spelling
habit
home that's
the reason the structure has been changed and now the Correct pronoun usage
home's
women
are working full-time and men
are staying home
.
To encapsulate, with some conclusive analysis itis
obvious that the Correct your spelling
it is
afforementioned
points have Correct your spelling
aforementioned
vindicate
my stance beyond any doubt. Change the verb form
vindicated
Nertheless
, it may be mentioned here that no issue is completely positive without having a little negative content and Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
this
topic is an exception.Submitted by hassan05.quadri on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear viewpoint, but it uses unnecessary words that make it seem less formal. Try to be more concise. Instead of "the content of this question is a thought provoking, disputable and debatable issue," you could say "this is a controversial issue."
task achievement
Your essay needs more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific studies, statistics, or quotes could add depth to your points.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas need to be more clearly organized. It would help to use more paragraphs, each with one main idea. Use transition words to make the structure of your argument clear.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your writing clearer. For example, "mens use to work full time compare to women" should be "men used to work full-time compared to women."
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion and provide several reasons to support it, which shows a strong engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your stance well, connecting back to the points made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.