In many countries, more and more men are staying at home to look after their children when women work full-time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #men #home #children #women #work #development

I believe that the content of

this

question is a

thought provoking

Add a hyphen

thought-provoking

show examples

, disputable and debatable issue in the contemporary world at present, and I am inclined to think that it is a negative development for a variety of hypothesized and pertinent factors.

Therfore

Correct your spelling

Therefore

, I could elucidate

this

topic to prove my inclination and hypothesis as correct.

Firstly

, it is evident in many parts of the world that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mens

Correct your spelling

men

show examples

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

work

full time

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

women

Men

can

work

hard physically

where

Correct word choice

whereas

show examples

women

can't

work

hard as the

women

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

household

work

for instance

a mother knows how to take care

Change preposition

of a

show examples

baby more than the

men

do and they keep

Remove the article

apply

show examples

expertise in managing the daily

households

Fix the agreement mistake

household

show examples

routines and

men

are way to lazy to do the household things.

Secondly

, the reason

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

men

are staying at

home

to look after their children

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

Correct word choice

that

show examples

they enjoy being at

home

without any

work

and they choose to look after their children, as the

pandamic

Correct your spelling

pandemic

hits

Correct subject-verb agreement

hit

show examples

back in 2020 all workers are working from

home

from here they got

Correct article usage

show examples

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

of staying

home that's

Correct pronoun usage

home's

show examples

the reason the structure has been changed and now the

women

are working full-time and

men

are staying

home

. To encapsulate, with some conclusive analysis

itis

Correct your spelling

it is

show examples

obvious that the

afforementioned

Correct your spelling

aforementioned

points have

vindicate

Change the verb form

vindicated

show examples

my stance beyond any doubt.

Nertheless

Correct your spelling

Nevertheless

, it may be mentioned here that no issue is completely positive without having a little negative content and

this

topic is an exception.

Submitted by hassan05.quadri on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction provides a clear viewpoint, but it uses unnecessary words that make it seem less formal. Try to be more concise. Instead of "the content of this question is a thought provoking, disputable and debatable issue," you could say "this is a controversial issue."

task achievement

Your essay needs more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific studies, statistics, or quotes could add depth to your points.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas need to be more clearly organized. It would help to use more paragraphs, each with one main idea. Use transition words to make the structure of your argument clear.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to make your writing clearer. For example, "mens use to work full time compare to women" should be "men used to work full-time compared to women."

task achievement

You clearly state your opinion and provide several reasons to support it, which shows a strong engagement with the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your stance well, connecting back to the points made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, more and more men are staying at home to look after their children when women work full-time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rate of unemployment in some countries is high. Because of this, there is no need to complete an education beyond a primary school level. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people say trees should be planted in the vacant area of cities and towns .while other believe housing facilities should be built instead. Do agree or disagree?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.