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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#universities #offer #courses #alternative #classes #campus #development
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In today’s developed world, it is true that many higher education organizations have been trying to change traditional classroom instruction through their online courses. Personally,
this
 phenomenon is wholly detrimental because
students
 do not have the opportunity to exchange and teenagers might easily lose concentration. The main drawback of alternative to classroom instruction, some universities provide online courses is
students
 do not have the ability to exchange and learn directly with lecturers and classmates. Take an online course with a big attendance as an example. Teachers who are unable to interact with all
students
, answer questions, or provide supportive activities will make it difficult for those children to acquire knowledge, resulting in a situation in which they do not understand the lesson. Another drawback of some universities offering online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus is teenagers may find it difficult to focus.
As a result
, the attention span of
students
 can be drastically decreased.
For example
, because of multiple apps on phones,
students
 are not able to
concerntrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on lessons which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to their poor academic performance.
Furthermore
, educators may not be able to control
students
' true abilities, leading to unreal scores, and loss of individual ability to think. In conclusion, I consider that the number of colleges and universities institutions have attempted to change traditional classroom instruction using distance learning is entirely disadvantageous because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers may find it difficult to focus, and they do not have the chance to interact with one another.
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good overview of your perspective, but it could be enhanced by clearly stating your main points. Consider briefly describing the main reasons you believe online courses are detrimental.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases, such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand,' to strengthen the logical flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Expand your examples and make them more detailed to substantiate your points further. For instance, provide specific scenarios or statistical data to show how concentration issues impact online learners.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are relevant and aligned with the essay question, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
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