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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Being a celibrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celibrity #–such #film #sports #personality- #celebrity
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Being a
celebrity
such
 as a
film-star
Correct your spelling
film star
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 or sportsperson brings advantages
as well as
 disadvantages.
This
 essay will discuss whether being a
celebrity
 is more beneficial or
further
 problematic. There are several benefits that one may enjoy being very famous. These benefits are receiving
high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
show examples
 treatment and getting worldwide recognition.
Firstly
, when a
celebrity
 is famous, they are not only treated with respect but
also
 get everything at their disposal no matter what.
Also
, celebrities are being looked after in
such
 a way that there is no discomfort caused to them.
Secondly
, one's talent is showcased on an international digital platform.
Therefore
, they are recognized worldwide which creates a huge fan following for a
celebrity
 enabling them to get famous.
Furthermore
, it brings
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of money and fame.
On the contrary
, there are problems of being so famous and they are not having any privacy and not being able to be themselves. The biggest disadvantage of being a
celebrity
 is not having any private
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
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 when they are in public.
In addition
, they are constantly followed by the media and the commoners. Given that, a famous personality does not get private time with their family or friends when they are out on
a
Correct article usage
apply
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vacation since they are always being chased for an interview or an autograph.
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, they are being rigorously watched and judged by the same group of individuals because they are so famous that they cannot behave, eat or dress up in a certain manner. A
filmstar
Correct your spelling
film star
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 or a sportsperson is expected to be perfect at all times. In conclusion, I completely agree with the fact that being a famous personality does bring advantages
as well as
 disadvantages. These celebrities should know very well to enjoy these benefits but they
also
 need to figure out the ways to handle the situations that bring problems in their life.
Submitted by ruchishah0 on

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language use
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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
content clarity
The main points are clear and supported with logical reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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