In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

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Several cultures have the belief that children most of the time are unable to achieve anything they put hard work into. Thoughts like

this

can have some benefits and drawbacks. The important advantages of

this

idea

are related to

kids

and

parents

. First of all,

this

idea

can lead to a strong independent personality for

kids

For instance

, some

kids

in the Olympic games have impressive personalities they are not afraid of failing and they totally understand their ability to achieve their goals at an early age.

In addition

this

can cause a strong bond between the

child

and the

parents

. Some results showed that a

child

6-month-old can make their steps forward if his

parents

carriage him and support him.

On the other hand

this

idea

has some disadvantages.

This

idea

can lead to serious mental disorders. If the

child

fails

this

may put a lot of stress and anxiety on the

child

's shoulders.

Moreover

, some

parents

force their

kids

to achieve something which is bound to their physical ability. Some children in age 6 or under can not hold the pen in the right way because the bones are still growing.

To sum up

all, there is a pros and cons of

this

idea

related to

parents

and

kids

' behaviour. In general,

this

thought needs to be more controlled to not lead to dangerous situations

Submitted by mmlohibi on Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Work on providing more detailed examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on only one main idea. This will help to improve the clarity and coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and varied.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction sets the context well and your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.

complete response

You have covered both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

227 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both attitudes and give your own opinion.

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In the modern age, some people think it is unnecessary to teach children the skill of handwriting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possibl. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinio.

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and give relevant answer.