At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
day and age, population is always a hotly debated topic. At this
time, many individuals believe that in many countries, amount of young citizens is huge, compared with the amount of old. In my opinion, the advantages of this
situation outweigh the disadvantages. The following essay will indicate it.
Firstly
, the issue that there are more young people than older people can have some negative effects. The main problem is to create a society with lacks many jobs. Because too many individuals are giving birth but
the country has not still provided enough opportunities for them to work. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, if the population increases too fast, it can lead to overpopulation. For example
, now, in Ha Noi city, there are a lot of students who graduated from university about 1 or 2 years ago but are unemployed because all organises or companies have enough staff.
However
, this
situation can have a lot of benefits. It can create a huge amount of workers who are excellent and help the country develop better. When there are many young adults, activities in our lives can be continued more effectively and carried out more creatively so that their products are also
of higher quality. For instance
, in many schools, young teachers are often responsible for researching and teaching new and hard knowledge. In addition
, when teaching, they also
have more creative, up-to-date and more attractive lessons or presentations than the older.
In conclusion, the problem is that the population of some countries which have a huge number of the young compared with the number of the older has both benefits and drawbacks. But I think its advantages outweigh the disadvantagesSubmitted by duongntt.tld on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position regarding the advantages and disadvantages of having a larger number of young adults compared to older people. However, the explanations and examples can be expanded and more developed for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure transitions between ideas are smoother. For example, use linking phrases like 'On the other hand,' 'Moreover,' etc. Proofreading for minor grammatical mistakes would also enhance the readability.
task achievement
Your introduction sets up the essay's purpose clearly, and you provide a balanced view of both the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single main point, which helps maintain logical structure.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...