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It’s generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, music and sport and others are not. However, it’s sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#it’s #people #talents #music #sport #child #sportsperson #musician #points
Plenty of individuals assume that some children are congenitally talented,
while
 others lack the giftedness.
Nevertheless
, it
also
 believed that any kid could become a professional with the required education. In my opinion, only with constant hard work and practice, any
person
 can be vocational in any sphere. First of all, some people maintain that talent is something inherited, since some genetic and environmental factors persist.
For instance
, a
person
 can take over physical or cognitive traits from their
parents
 and be predisposed to excel in specific areas.
In addition
 to that,
parents
 usually tend to have a colossal influence on their children. What is more,
while
 nurturing their children, guardians try to explain things through their own perception, which is tightly connected to hobbies,
such
 as
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and music.
Thus
, individuals that are surrounded by sportive or musical
parents
, are more likely to be successful in the future than teenagers that are not.
On the other hand
, the majority of people consider that any
person
 can be gifted with enough practice and dedication, and I completely agree with that. As an example, an individual who was encouraged by their
parents
 from the very beginning and worked hard to enhance skills was not born with the talent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but earned the skill after hard work. I believe that with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong desire and passion, every
person
 can excel in any type of field. Even though,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 lack any giftedness from birth, it still can be learned through constant
exercising
Replace the word
exercise
show examples
.
To sum up
, some human beings reckon that only certain people with genetic talents can be professionals in music or sports,
while
 others believe that any human-kind is able to succeed in anything. From my perspective, every youngster has an opportunity to be good at something, but only with
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 discipline and teaching.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task response
In your introduction, it's better to clearly state both viewpoints before giving your opinion. This helps in setting a clear structure for the reader.
task response
Avoid small grammatical errors such as 'a good sportsperson', which should be 'a skilled sportsperson'. These errors can slightly reduce the clarity of your ideas.
task response
In your second body paragraph, it would be beneficial to elaborate on another specific example or piece of evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional words more frequently to ensure seamless flow between ideas. Words like 'Moreover', 'Therefore', and 'However' help in maintaining coherence.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, succinctly restate both viewpoints and then reinforce your opinion. It provides a balanced closure to the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the essay.
task response
You addressed the task effectively by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion.
task response
The essay includes relevant and clear examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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