It is believed that a year off between school and university could be advantageous for school leavers. To what extent do you support this view?
It is said that taking a
year
off between school
and university
is beneficial for school
graduates, I personally agree with this
statement to
some reason, and I will explain why in Change preposition
for
this
essay.
On the one side, it is true that young students
are very likely to encounter several difficulties when delaying their university
study
. One of these problems is the delay in academic progress caused by spending one Fix the agreement mistake
studies
year
off school
. It is understandably almost impossible for young people to enjoy their experiences in doing a job or traveling
to a new place but still arrange a certain amount of time for revision. Change the spelling
travelling
As a result
, gap-year
takers may have to face the challenge of becoming familiar with the knowledge at school
again, receiving more pressure of catching
up with their peers. Change preposition
to catch
Besides
, the
life Correct article usage
apply
out
of Change preposition
outside
university
campus may prove to be mentally and physically overwhelming for inexperienced Correct article usage
the university
school
leavers. They, for instance
, may be at risk of being exploited in an exhausting job or face potential dangers on their trips to a new country. If not well prepared for such
possible obstacles, young high school
graduates can suffer from unintended consequences.
On the other hand
, we should consider various benefits that a gap year
is an ideal opportunity for students
to learn about what is not taught at university
. Working with other people who are experts in a particular field can give these newcomers not only understanding
of the job but Correct article usage
an understanding
also
valuable practical lessons to help them become more mature. When it comes to applying for a position in a company, employers tend to favourably consider applicants who possess extensive experience in life and the occupation. Furthermore
, in terms of recreation, having a year
to relax can be advantageous as students
can have a chance to relieve stress in study. With a comfortable and willing attitude, undergraduates can acquire knowledge more effectively in comparison with those who go to university
straightaway
.
Correct your spelling
straight away
Overall
, it seems to me that working or traveling
before Change the spelling
travelling
students
start their education in university
is worth implementing because of the positive impacts such
as valuable practice and relaxation for students
who get stressed in studying. This
is provided that students
keep their interest in studying to ensure better academic performance in university
.Submitted by k a l l a on
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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and review for any awkward phrasing. Although small inaccuracies are acceptable, it's important to minimize them.
Content Development
Further develop the disadvantages discussed in the body paragraph. Explain how the potential drawbacks could outweigh the benefits for a more balanced argument.
Writing Style
Maintain a balance between complex and simple sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence types to keep the reader interested while avoiding overly complex constructions that might cause confusion.
Content
The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off between school and university, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Structure
The introduction is clear and sets the context well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed.
Supporting Examples
Examples provided in the essay are relevant and help to support the main points being made. This adds depth to the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example