It is believed that a year off between school and university could be advantageous for school leavers. To what extent do you support this view?

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It is said that taking a
year
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off between
school
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and
university
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is beneficial for
school
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graduates, I personally agree with
this
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statement
to
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for
show examples
some reason, and I will explain why in
this
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essay. On the one side, it is true that young
students
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are very likely to encounter several difficulties when delaying their
university
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study
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studies
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. One of these problems is the delay in academic progress caused by spending one
year
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off
school
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. It is understandably almost impossible for young people to enjoy their experiences in doing a job or
traveling
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travelling
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to a new place but still arrange a certain amount of time for revision.
As a result
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, gap-
year
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takers may have to face the challenge of becoming familiar with the knowledge at
school
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again, receiving more pressure
of catching
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to catch
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up with their peers.
Besides
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,
the
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apply
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life
out
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outside
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of
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university
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the university
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campus may prove to be mentally and physically overwhelming for inexperienced
school
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leavers. They,
for instance
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, may be at risk of being exploited in an exhausting job or face potential dangers on their trips to a new country. If not well prepared for
such
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possible obstacles, young high
school
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graduates can suffer from unintended consequences.
On the other hand
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, we should consider various benefits that a gap
year
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is an ideal opportunity for
students
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to learn about what is not taught at
university
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. Working with other people who are experts in a particular field can give these newcomers not only
understanding
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an understanding
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of the job but
also
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valuable practical lessons to help them become more mature. When it comes to applying for a position in a company, employers tend to favourably consider applicants who possess extensive experience in life and the occupation.
Furthermore
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, in terms of recreation, having a
year
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to relax can be advantageous as
students
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can have a chance to relieve stress in study. With a comfortable and willing attitude, undergraduates can acquire knowledge more effectively in comparison with those who go to
university
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straightaway
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straight away
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.
Overall
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, it seems to me that working or
traveling
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travelling
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before
students
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start their education in
university
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is worth implementing because of the positive impacts
such
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as valuable practice and relaxation for
students
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who get stressed in studying.
This
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is provided that
students
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keep their interest in studying to ensure better academic performance in
university
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.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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Grammar
Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and review for any awkward phrasing. Although small inaccuracies are acceptable, it's important to minimize them.
Content Development
Further develop the disadvantages discussed in the body paragraph. Explain how the potential drawbacks could outweigh the benefits for a more balanced argument.
Writing Style
Maintain a balance between complex and simple sentence structures. Use a variety of sentence types to keep the reader interested while avoiding overly complex constructions that might cause confusion.
Content
The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a year off between school and university, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Structure
The introduction is clear and sets the context well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed.
Supporting Examples
Examples provided in the essay are relevant and help to support the main points being made. This adds depth to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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