Indvidual greed and selfishnesss have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more treaditional values of respect for the family and local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a growing concern that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

widespread of being selfish and

greedy

Replace the word

greed

show examples

are increasingly becoming prevalent in modern

society

Use synonyms

. It is argued that sticking to the values of respecting family and

community

Use synonyms

is an essential trait

one

Use synonyms

could have to improve our

world

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay strongly agrees that implementing virtues that make a difference in our

Use synonyms

families

Change noun form

family's

families'

show examples

lives and

community

Use synonyms

will influence the

world

Use synonyms

we live in.

Firstly

Linking Words

، having

respect

Use synonyms

towards those who are close to us will reflect on many other aspects of life, and

secondly

Linking Words

, thinking of

Use synonyms

one self

Correct your spelling

oneself

show examples

and wanting to have it all will negatively impact

one

Use synonyms

's life. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, in our upbringing there are some qualities that some of us were lucky to have been introduced to,

respect

Use synonyms

one

Use synonyms

of the primary qualities that most

families

Use synonyms

worldwide appreciate.

Furthermore

Linking Words

respect

Use synonyms

is not merely a

religous

Correct your spelling

religious

teaching most of us have learned growing up, it is more of a universal language

that is

Linking Words

thought of highly by most people, regardless of their social, and

ethnicities

Replace the word

ethnic

show examples

differences. As if it was

Remove the article

apply

show examples

human nature, everyone is drawn to

respect

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

would not be able to have a respectful status in

society

Use synonyms

without being taught

respect

Use synonyms

growing up in the first place.

Moreover

Linking Words

, being respected in the

community

Use synonyms

will push people to behave in the best way possible. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, a study that was conducted by

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of Toronto showed that as the level of

respect

Use synonyms

increases in the

community

Use synonyms

, people tend to engage in tasks that are more beneficial to

society

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

respect

Use synonyms

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a positive impact on the

world

Use synonyms

in general.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, being greedy and wanting to have all benefits for

Use synonyms

one self

Correct your spelling

oneself

show examples

is the driving force behind modern societies

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

have forgotten moral values.

For instance

Linking Words

, some argue that young generations are not putting much effort

to enhance

Change preposition

into enhancing

show examples

the way they

are

Verb problem

treat

show examples

treating elderly,

this

Linking Words

worrying trend will certainly reflect on every aspect of our daily lives.

Moreover

Linking Words

, being selfish will not only affect the way we treat family and

community

Use synonyms

in general,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

will

increase

Rephrase

also increase

show examples

the sense of individuality,

gradually

Correct word choice

and gradually

show examples

detachment from

society

Use synonyms

will occur.

In other words

Linking Words

, the comradery sense in the

society

Use synonyms

will be lost. In conclusion, it is vital to value

respect

Use synonyms

for

families

Use synonyms

and communities rather than greediness, thereby nurturing virtues is essential

will

Correct word choice

and will

show examples

make a remarkable impact on

families

Use synonyms

, communities and

Use synonyms

world

Correct article usage

the world

show examples

alamer_maTue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task and provides a complete response. Make sure to further elaborate on your main points to provide a clearer, more comprehensive argument. Adding more specific examples can strengthen your points and make them more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure is logical, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use more cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea to enhance clarity.

language

Pay attention to grammatical errors and typos such as "religous" (religious) and "one self" (oneself). Proofreading will help catch these small mistakes.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on the issue, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, giving the essay a well-rounded finish.

task achievement

You incorporated a study as a specific example to support your point, which adds credibility to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

402 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

individual greed
selfishness
modern society
traditional values
respect for family
local community
societal issues
income inequality
social isolation
environmental degradation
sense of belonging
mutual support
collective responsibility
societal well-being
restrictive
discriminatory
personal freedom
progress
ethical frameworks
community well-being
sustainability
inclusive
forward-thinking
hybrid approach
innovation

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Indvidual greed and selfishnesss have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more treaditional values of respect for the family and local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Globalization has led to the proliferation of multinational corporations, often at the expense of local businesses. Discuss the positive and negative impacts of this trend.

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

Having babies later can have more negative than positive effects on young adults? What is pros and cons about having babies laterand how do you think?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?