Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
Today’s
the
most recent trend is Correct article usage
apply
celebrities
are making more profit to compare
with Change the verb form
compared
the
Correct article usage
apply
politicians
. This
essay is going to discuss about
the specific causes of Remove the preposition
apply
this
statement. In my suggestion, this
is an adverse decline for the nation
economy.
Two main reasons are mentioned here for the huge Change noun form
nation's
wages
difference between Change the noun form
wage
celebrities
and politicians
. First
reason is today the internet has grown tremendously, so Add an article
The first
celebrities
like actors or pop singers can easily have an
access to post Remove the article
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
video
about their songs or trailers Fix the agreement mistake
videos
in
Change preposition
on
the
social media within Correct article usage
apply
the
minute’s million views and likesCorrect article usage
a
will get
. Verb problem
apply
Second
reason is generally Add an article
The second
celebrities
like actors are one of the most familiar persons to the
all age group people Correct article usage
apply
especially
youngsters, Add the comma(s)
, especially
thus
everyone want
to see their films Change the verb form
wants
in
the big screen and the box office collection will give Change preposition
on
the
good profit to them.
Correct article usage
a
In
the other hand, most of the Change preposition
On
politicians
are exploiting government funds and this
huge remuneration difference between celebrities
and politicians
also
will stimulate the politicians
to indulge to
more Change preposition
in
scam
. Fix the agreement mistake
scams
Furthermore
, legislative and parliament members will not concentrate to
the country and public welfare. Change preposition
on
This
will lead to the
economic disaster and system failure Correct article usage
apply
among
the country. Change preposition
in
Additionally
, political
Correct article usage
a political
carrier
is a not profession, it is a public service.
In a nutshell, Correct your spelling
career
wages difference
between Fix the agreement mistake
wage differences
politicians
and celebrities
are common. All politicians
must be
think about their people and country because they are all selected by the public. Simultaneously, Unnecessary verb
apply
celebrities
are earning profit because most of
people and fans are following themChange preposition
apply
Submitted by smsundaram57 on
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task achievement
Strengthen your task response by clearly elaborating on the reasons why celebrities earn more than politicians. Include specific examples and statistics, if possible, to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce these ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy to avoid minor errors, especially in sentence structure. For instance, replace 'this is an adverse decline' with 'this is an adverse development.'
task achievement
The essay makes a good attempt to address both parts of the question: reasons for the earnings difference and whether it is positive or negative.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant and pertinent to the topic, showing a clear understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the essay, contributing to its coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.