IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.
#process #bricks #industry
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The procedure by which
bricks
Use synonyms
 are produced in a factory using sand, water and clay for the building company is highlighted
by
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in
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given
Add an article
the given
a given
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 diagram. It commences when clay is dug by a digger machine which is sifted through the metal grid. In the next stage, sand and water are added and the mixture
pushed
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is pushed
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 through the frame and cut into
bricks
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, or moulded into formed
bricks
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. These are placed in
drying
Correct article usage
a drying
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 oven
from
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for
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 24 to 48 hours. In the following stage,
bricks
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heated
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are heated
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 moderately to reach the temperature of 200
degrees
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 and 980
degrees
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 centigrade, before going to the next kiln. In the next kiln,
bricks
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 heated from 870
degrees
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 centigrade to a peak of 1300
degrees
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 centigrade. After that
bricks
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 cooled in a cooling chamber for two to three days.
The
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In the
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last
Linking Words
 stage,
bricks
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packed
Add a missing verb
are packed
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 carefully and
finally
Linking Words
 delivered to customers in order to build a lot of high-rising buildings.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • manufacture
  • bricks
  • building industry
  • process
  • dig
  • prepare
  • clay
  • mold
  • shape
  • dry
  • fire
  • kiln
  • cool
  • package
  • fired
  • overview
  • importance
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