some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young, while others think it is better for them to attend kindergarten. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some say that
preschool age
Add a hyphen
preschool-age
kids
should be educated at home, whereas
others think that in school young kids
can get better
Add an article
a better
education
. In my opinion, a public education
system has more advantages than a private home study. The two most reasons
are Correct word choice
common reasons
the
developing social skills and Correct article usage
apply
the
having professional educators.
When Correct article usage
apply
kids
are in preschool
system with Add an article
the preschool
same age
peers, they build up communal skills. Preschool gives them play time so that they interact with each other Add a hyphen
same-age
while
having fun. For instance
, kids
are instructed to share their toys in playtime, but sometimes they fight when a peer want
to keep it longer. From that moment they learn what they should do or do not for everyone’s equity from the teacher’s intervention. After that, Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
kids
realize that there are nice or mean peers in their community. Hence
, they obtain the ability how to deal with all different kinds of personalities from mutual interaction.
Teachers who earned the
degree Correct article usage
a
of
Change preposition
in
education
are well educated from university. They have been taught about academic knowledge, educational psychology, classroom management, teaching skills, education
resources and so on. For instance
, a kid with ADHD is
hard to sit still in class, a teacher knows how to help him/her focus or not Verb problem
finds it
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturb
whole
class. An instructor let the kid sit on the rocking chair to soothe the overactions. Correct article usage
the whole
In addition
, teachers have many teaching strategies so that they know the way to induce each kid’s strengths, to encourage them to build up for their future career
.
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
To sum up
, of course
home Add the comma(s)
course,
study
has many advantages for very young Wrong verb form
studying
kids
, however
, I strongly argue that preschool provides a good quality education
by well trained
teachers and a socializing improvement by spending time with peers.Add a hyphen
well-trained
Submitted by sby0703 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical progression of ideas, ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and develop them thoroughly to clearly illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Focus on a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the argument, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced view, considering both sides of the argument.