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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the protein and calorie intakes of people in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the protein and calorie intakes of people in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #protein #calorie #intakes #people #parts #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given diagram
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 information relating to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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protein
Use synonyms
 and
calorie
Use synonyms
 consumption in various regions over the globe.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that North
America
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 exceededly consumed both the standard of reasonable
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calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
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as well as
Linking Words
protein
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 the opposite trend was true for the other nations.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
absorbtion
Correct your spelling
absorption
 of
protein
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primarily
Add a missing verb
was primarily
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 extracted from different sources which contributed to the
rich
Replace the word
richness
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 of
Use synonyms
calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
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, with the exception
India
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of India
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 where animal
protein
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 predominated over
other
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others
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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. When it comes to the consumption of
protein
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, India and East Africa witnessed an equalization on other
protein
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 at around 15,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, there was a minute discrepancy on those taken from animals at accurately 3 units, with the East Africa dominated. In terms of the Americas area, Latin
America
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 possessed the level of other
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protein
Fix the agreement mistake
proteins
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 at approximately 32, which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
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 than two times in comparison with animal one. Regarding the
overconsumped
Correct your spelling
overconsumed
 nation of both
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protein
Change to a plural noun
proteins
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, the animal
protein
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 was only 18,
while
Linking Words
 other
Use synonyms
protein
Fix the agreement mistake
proteins
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 surpassed over 44 units. Moving to the
calorie
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 intake, India and East Africa,which were much
more
Change the word
apply
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lower than the ideal
absorbtion
Correct your spelling
absorption
, recharged only 2000 and nearly 2400
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calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
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, respectively. With
respects
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respect
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 to
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
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 nations, Latin
America
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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nearly
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
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 the standard of
calorie
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 intake at around 3000,whilst North
America
Use synonyms
 was redundant over 350
Use synonyms
calorie
Fix the agreement mistake
calories
show examples
.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words protein, calorie, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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