Many people living in a large city deal with problems in their daily life. Why is this? What can the government do?
In an ever-progressive society, a bulk of inhabitants who live in
metropolis
are now confronting various issues Add an article
the metropolis
everyday
and the roots of those primarily come from traffic congestion Replace the word
every day
as well as
the viability of Unnecessary verb
apply
being
stolen personal items. From Verb problem
apply
this
writer’s experience, the local authorities ought not to motivate residents to transfer to outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
due to
the drop in economy
.
One of the Correct article usage
the economy
priminal
elements contributing to the inconvenience of citizens is the fact that traffic Correct your spelling
primary
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
is
instantaneously Correct subject-verb agreement
are
occuring
or even ameliorating day by day. It should be Correct your spelling
occurring
noteable
that the mega-city is accommodating a large number of civilians Correct your spelling
notable
noticeable
in addition
to the emigrants who are seeking for
job Change preposition
apply
prospect
since the Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
urbans
are well-known for their wide range of job opportunities, especially artificial intelligence alongside information technology majors. Correct your spelling
urban
turbans
As a consequence
, when they are going to work at the rush hour, the struggle of transports
is inevitable, Fix the agreement mistake
transport
nonetheless
, if it is unfortunate, there will be a road collision, leading to either serious injuries or fatality.
Another source of Add an article
the problem
a problem
problem
in Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
daily life is the high rate of theft when Change noun form
people's
the
night is coming, affecting many and gradually Correct article usage
apply
being
an alarming concern. With that said, Verb problem
becoming
besides
the fulfil infrastructures or stable job
, there is a significant discrepancy between the affluent and the impoverished owning to the insufficiency of welfare from the Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
buget
, so in order to survive in Correct your spelling
budget
this
hectic city, those who are on the edge will commit crimes. To clarify this
point, take India as a particular example, although
it is one of the most prosperous nations in the world, there will be anually
murders for properties. Correct your spelling
annual
Thus
, inhabitants are always worrying about their protection and can not live comfortably.
In terms of the government, encouraging a cut of residential units to suburbs will have an adverse impact on the city’s finance
. It should be apprehended that Fix the agreement mistake
finances
this
hustle and bustle metropolis is not only the place where skilled labours
are gathering but Correct your spelling
labourers
also
the central
of trading markets which are the aim of foreign investment capital based on the density of population. Replace the word
centre
Furthermore
, whether individuals move to rural areas should not be interupted
by the local authorities on the grounds of liberty. Correct your spelling
interrupted
interpreted
As a result
, it will seriously influence the standard of living as many amenities along with
social programs are alleviated so as for saving
Change preposition
to save
budget
.
Correct article usage
the budget
To sum up
, living in the mega-city tends to cope with the traffic tram coupled with
the variety of robery
. Correct your spelling
robbery
Additionally
, the decrease of
Change preposition
in
finance
is the justification Fix the agreement mistake
finances
why
governments should not recommend civilians Change preposition
for why
to
move to Fix the infinitive
apply
outskirts
.Correct article usage
the outskirts
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. However, ensure that all points are developed clearly with distinct and specific supporting details to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
coherence cohesion
Try to further refine the logical structure of your paragraphs. Some ideas can be more clearly ordered, and transitions between points can be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Some of the vocabulary used seems a bit forced or inappropriate. Opt for simpler words and phrases to ensure that your meaning is clear and precise.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well. This helps in understanding the main points you are trying to convey.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to India, adds depth to your essay and provides concrete illustrations of your points.
task achievement
The essay covers the required aspects of the task, discussing the problems faced by people in large cities and potential government solutions comprehensively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example