IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You borrowed something from your friend, later it got damaged. Write letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: •apology about the issue •tell how it got damaged •say you are going to fix this issue.

#friend #•apology #•tell #•say
Dear John. I think you are doing good. I hope you will understand when I say that your
book
 was
tore
Wrong verb form
torn
show examples
. Do you remember,that you gave me your
book
 on holiday
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I was going to
give
Verb problem
tell
show examples
you when I will go to school. But my sister tore your
book
,
whose
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
she is 3 years old. When I was reading your
book
, my mother called me and I put the
book
 on the table. I got out to outside. When I was getting out, my sister was playing at home. My sister tore to take your
book
. I felt really embarrassed when I saw that it was
tore
Wrong verb form
torn
show examples
. I do not want to get you down. So I am going to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
book
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will look like your
book
. I will give you
Correct article usage
the
show examples
book
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when we
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go to school. I hope wonʼt upset and forgive me.See you soon at school. Best wishes. Sincerely, John.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to proofread your letter for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Provide more cohesive and structured ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific details to explain how you will fix the issue. Provide more context to make the letter clearer and complete.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is appropriate and friendly.
greeting and closing
You have included a greeting and closing which is very polite.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: