Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

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These days, a growing number of people tend to have businesses by themselves, rather than stay
a
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in a
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company or organization. In my opinion,
this
trend may be caused by the variety of working style choices and some drawbacks including insecurity of salary and overwork would be raised in self-employed businesses. First and foremost, one of the most attractive factors to have individuals' own shops will be its flexibility and variety. There are no regulations and restrictions to open a shop or to start a new business
although
owners should obey some governmental and legal frameworks.
Therefore
,each employer can decide the design of a store, the location, the working time and what materials he or she deals with.
This
freedom is fascinating for some people who want to have their own
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stories
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stores
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stories
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and dislike
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obeying
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to obey
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obeying
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others.
However
, dreaming of being self-employed may have some positive aspects.
Firstly
, there are a lot of tasks in running a company. Managing a
sotre
Correct your spelling
site
by oneself seems to have some troubles
such
as gathering funds from banks, negotiating
tradings
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trade
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with other companies, and sometimes paying regular tenant fees. These additional tasks must be responsible for an owner.
Secondly
, self-employers may face a risk of unstable income. If sales of her or his shop drop dramatically, the owner will receive an inadequate salary for continuing to run it.
Moreover
, a heavy debt may be burdened on him or her which can cause long
hour
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hours
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of works
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works
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work
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. In conclusion, a self-employed working style has gained in popularity recently.
Although
this
fashion is attractive for some ambitious business persons, there are several disadvantages
such
as numerous tasks relating to management and job insecurity. When individuals start a new corporation, they should consider various conditions and have a concrete plan to run it well.
Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have clearer paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing more precisely on a single idea. This will enhance the readability and overall structure.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point you introduce is adequately supported with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have presented a complete response to the task prompt, addressing both reasons and solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas are generally clear and you have made some relevant points with explanations.
supported main points
You have provided a thorough discussion in both the positive and negative aspects of being self-employed.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout: A state of physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by prolonged stress.
  • Telecommuting: Working from a location outside of the traditional office environment, usually from home.
  • Work-life balance: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • Flexible working hours: A system that allows employees to choose their working hours within certain limits.
  • Occupational wellbeing: The overall mental, physical, and emotional health of an individual in relation to their job.
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