Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?
These days, a growing number of people tend to have businesses by themselves, rather than stay
a
company or organization. In my opinion, Change preposition
in a
this
trend may be caused by the variety of working style choices and some drawbacks including insecurity of salary and overwork would be raised in self-employed businesses.
First and foremost, one of the most attractive factors to have individuals' own shops will be its flexibility and variety. There are no regulations and restrictions to open a shop or to start a new business although
owners should obey some governmental and legal frameworks. Therefore
,each employer can decide the design of a store, the location, the working time and what materials he or she deals with. This
freedom is fascinating for some people who want to have their own Correct your spelling
stories
stores
and dislike Correct your spelling
stories
Wrong verb form
obeying
to obey
others.
Change the verb form
obeying
However
, dreaming of being self-employed may have some positive aspects. Firstly
, there are a lot of tasks in running a company. Managing a sotre
by oneself seems to have some troubles Correct your spelling
site
such
as gathering funds from banks, negotiating tradings
with other companies, and sometimes paying regular tenant fees. These additional tasks must be responsible for an owner. Replace the word
trade
Secondly
, self-employers may face a risk of unstable income. If sales of her or his shop drop dramatically, the owner will receive an inadequate salary for continuing to run it. Moreover
, a heavy debt may be burdened on him or her which can cause long hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
Change preposition
of works
works
.
In conclusion, a self-employed working style has gained in popularity recently. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Although
this
fashion is attractive for some ambitious business persons, there are several disadvantages such
as numerous tasks relating to management and job insecurity. When individuals start a new corporation, they should consider various conditions and have a concrete plan to run it well.Submitted by atsutaka_aratame on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have clearer paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing more precisely on a single idea. This will enhance the readability and overall structure.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point you introduce is adequately supported with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have presented a complete response to the task prompt, addressing both reasons and solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas are generally clear and you have made some relevant points with explanations.
supported main points
You have provided a thorough discussion in both the positive and negative aspects of being self-employed.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?