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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked by men & women per week in Australia in 2007. Summarise information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #hours #men #women #week #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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the given chart illustrates the
Use synonyms
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
worked
Correct pronoun usage
who worked
show examples
 each week in the year 2007.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in 2007 , the amount of time females spent
on worked
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than males from 0 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 but between 30 and 80
hours
Use synonyms
 it was
Correct article usage
the completely
show examples
completely
Change the word
complete
show examples
 opposite .
Addtionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 which women and
men
Use synonyms
 spent on work
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the same in
this
Linking Words
 period. From 0 to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 , 15
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of women workers was 3
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 as much as the
men
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.With around 22,5
Use synonyms
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
, the female still
double
Change the verb form
doubles
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 one in the range of 10 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
. Approximately 42,5
Use synonyms
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
men
Use synonyms
spending on
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 30 to 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week
while
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 range of
hours
Use synonyms
 ,
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women only had 35
Use synonyms
propotion
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
.From 60 to 80
hours
Use synonyms
, the
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
 workers was 30
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 which
double
Add a missing verb
is double
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , over 80
hours
Use synonyms
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 in both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words propotion, hours, men, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Hours worked
  • Overall trend
  • Significant differences
  • Similarities
  • Peaks
  • Full-time
  • Part-time
  • Overtime
  • Proportion
  • Represented
  • Categories
  • Variations
  • Societal roles
  • National employment policies
  • Predominantly
  • Engaging in
  • Comparison
  • Domestic duties
  • Employment trends
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