More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development ?

It is true that nowadays
robots
conducting
Wrong verb form
conduct
show examples
many missions, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
done at
home
and at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
rather than by
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
. In
this
essay, the writer
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that
this
trend has a detrimental impact on the employment of workers and isolated depression.
To begin
with, it must be acknowledged that the enhancement of technological achievement is increasing powerfully in the modern age. Developing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artificial technology might lead to a rise in unemployment because of
replacing
Replace the word
the replacement
show examples
by
robots
and machines.
This
is
due to
the accuracy and efficiency of
robots
, which can foster a sense of high productivity in comparison with blue collars.
For instance
, self-driving vehicles cause redundancy in driving jobs
such
as lorry drivers, taxi drivers and bus drivers, which can lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
sedentary lifestyle as people are out of money and do not have a stable salary to earn a living.
Thus
, technical
robots
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to take
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
away from humans, which causes unemployment
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
a number of
individuals
around the world. Another point that should be considered is that replacing
robots
at
home
or at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
can pose a risk to the isolation between
individuals
in
digital
Add an article
the digital
a digital
show examples
era. As a great deal of workload
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
solved by technological applications
such
as
robots
, there is an
increasing
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increase
show examples
in the number of
individuals
become
Correct pronoun usage
who become
show examples
unemployed,
therefore
preventing them from interacting with their colleagues.
This
results in an isolation between human
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and
also
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
the ability to work properly in both
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
and
workplace
.
Furthermore
, it can cause a rise in a variety of health problems
such
as cardiovascular or heart attack, high cholesterol or even respiratory disease because workers not
employ
Change the form of the verb
employed
show examples
in a regular way as they used to. In conclusion, using
robots
at
home
and
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
to accomplish missions not only
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
the redundancy of
individuals
but
also
put
Correct subject-verb agreement
puts
show examples
our
living
Replace the word
lives
show examples
into
Change preposition
under
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
threat as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
without human oversight.
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task achievement
Your arguments are clear, but make sure to provide more specific and varied examples to fully support your points. This will enhance the strength of your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases in the essay. Proofreading can help in identifying and rectifying these issues, which can improve clarity and reduce misunderstandings.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a more logical manner. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and that there is a smooth transition between paragraphs. This will help in improving the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide a clear standpoint on the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both potential negative impacts on employment and social interaction, demonstrating a balanced approach to the topic.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence (AI)
  • Humanoid
  • Machine learning
  • Task allocation
  • Operational costs
  • Manual labor
  • Disruptive technology
  • Ergonomics
  • Unemployment
  • Cybersecurity
  • Technological singularity
  • Redundant workforce
  • Innovation
  • Ethical considerations
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