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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of family's weekly
income
Use synonyms
 spent for different categories in 1968 and 2018
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can be seen that as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time goes , there was an increase in money paid for housing , transport and leisure .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , fuel and power was seen as a category which had
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
 spending in
both
Use synonyms
 years Regarding categories which witnessed a growth in weekly spending ,
both
Use synonyms
 transport and leisure in 1968 were nearly 7% and 10% , respectively .
Additionally
Linking Words
 ,
both
Use synonyms
 of them increased by double by 2018 at approximately 15% and over 20%
income
Use synonyms
 .
Similarly
Linking Words
 , Housing made up exactly 10%
weekly
Change preposition
of weekly
show examples
income
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of 2018 .
By contrast
Linking Words
 , household goods remained unchanged at about 15% weekly money throughout
this
Linking Words
 period . Turning to
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
cateogires
Correct your spelling
countries
 where there was a decline in money spent . As for food , most weekly
income
Use synonyms
 was paid for
this
Linking Words
 requirement by accounting for over a third in 1968
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 2 times more than the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2018 . Meanwhile ,
both
Use synonyms
 fuel and power
as well as
Linking Words
 personal goods experienced a slight decline from over 5% weekly
income
Use synonyms
 to just under
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it in 2018 .
Last
Linking Words
 but not least , clothing and footwear had a drop by double to exactly 5% .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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