Some people think lawbreakers should be sent to prisons while others claim they should be made to work in communities. Discuss both and give your opinion.
Lawbreakers are dangerous to the
community
. community
have mixed opinion
on the punishments offered to them. Some prefer sending them to the cell. Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
While
others prefer sending them to the community
service
. I personally prefer community
service
to prision
.
Correct your spelling
prison
People
prefer sending them to cell because they worry about their safety. If these people
are with the general population then
there are high chance of more atrocity being commited
. Correct your spelling
committed
Also
, they think that these persons should suffer for their heinous crimes. If a murderer is allowed to do community
service
rather than the prison sentence then
it is a threat to common people
in the community
. They might not know when he will turn against them.
Other people
prefer sending them to community
service
since it will give them an opportunity to change their character and come out as good humans. Those people
who commit a pity crime
are not a threat to society. if they are allowed to do community
service
that will help others as well. For example
, a traffic violator should be allowed to do community
service
rather than prison
sentence, considering the nature of the Add an article
a prison
crime
.
Lawbreakers should be dealt with based on the nature of the crime
. Rather than sending all the criminals to jail, There should be a jury that can assess the nature of the crime
and suggest whether they can be sent to jail or community
service
. By doing so, We are giving an opportunity for them to change and become a good citizen.Submitted by insighttribez on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument and presenting a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from stronger support for your main points. Try to include more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay can be improved by refining the flow between ideas and ensuring each paragraph stays focused on a central point. Consider using transition words and phrases to help guide the reader through your points more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, make sure that these sections are fully developed. The introduction should clearly set the tone and context for the discussion, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a discussion essay prompt.
task achievement
Your conclusion aptly emphasizes the need for a tailored approach to punishment based on the nature of the crime, which aligns well with your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points in each paragraph are clearly signposted, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.