It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punishment should be given?

#children #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort

The topic of whether

children

should be punished to help them distinguish right from wrong is highly controversial.

While

some argue that

punishment

is necessary for teaching discipline, others believe it can have negative consequences. I agree with the former view, provided that the

punishment

is administered appropriately.

Punishment

can be beneficial in preventing recidivism among

children

. As

children

may not fully grasp verbal reprimands, the

punishment

could impose a severe impression of negative effect, serving as a deterrent to future misconduct.

For example

, requiring bullies to perform community service can effectively reform their behaviour by associating their actions with undesirable consequences.

This

approach not only punishes the offenders but

also

teaches them about the repercussions of their actions on the community.

However

, excessive or inappropriate

punishment

can significantly influence

children

's mental health. Misjudging the severity of an offence can result in harsh punishments that may lead to psychological issues.

For instance

, many Chinese students suffer from depression

due to

intense academic pressure imposed by parents who misinterpret poor grades.

This

can lead to self-blame, resulting in high rates of suicide and self-harm among these students. In conclusion,

while

punishment

can be an effective tool for reforming youth behaviour and preventing future offences, it must be used judiciously. Overuse or inappropriate

punishment

can have disastrous effects on

children

's mental health.

Therefore

, it is crucial to balance discipline with empathy and understanding to foster both good behaviour and psychological well-being in

children

Submitted by yu18526106986 on Wed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively responds to the task by discussing both the necessity and potential drawbacks of using punishment to teach children right from wrong. It offers a balanced view and presents relevant examples to support your points. However, you can enhance the clarity and coherence further by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured and each paragraph supports the main argument, consider adding topic sentences that clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily. Additionally, use transition phrases to indicate shifts in perspective or to introduce examples, which would improve the flow of your essay.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and presents your stance effectively. This provides a strong foundation for your essay.

relevant specific examples

You have provided relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the community service example for bullies and the situation of Chinese students facing academic pressure. This adds depth to your argument and makes it more convincing.

introduction conclusion

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your balanced view on the topic. This helps to leave a strong impression on the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punishment should be given?

Word Count

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In today's very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed. Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications? Explain the reason and provide specific examples to support your answer.

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+