Thanks to the development of air travel and telecommunication, contacts between different parts of the world have developed To what extent do you agree or disagree
While
many people
believe that the human connection is becoming stronger owing to the development of communication technology and the travel
industry, I think that as well as
the benefits, this
trend brings problems.
On the positive side, the fast rhythm of life requires people
to enhance the efficiency of their work and then
have more leisure time. With advanced telecommunications, people
can make inquiries by phone instead
of travelling long distances. Internet access allows them to perform various imperative tasks without leaving their offices. Although
employees still have to travel
daily to meet business partners and visit clients in other cities or even countries, modern transport networks reduce the time they have to spend on commutes. Furthermore
, modern means of transport and communication also
imply the expansion of people
’s social circle. In the past, physical factors such
as geographical distance and low mobility limited people
's relationships. Nevertheless
, one can now travel
more easily thanks to the development of air travel
. As a result
, people
stand more chances to broaden their horizons with cultural diversities and get acquainted with many friends worldwide.
Conversely
, telecommunication technology and the travel
industry are responsible for the upsurge in lifestyle-related problems. Jobs become demanding and require total commitment. Despite the reduction of the official working hours, workers actually work longer and even sacrifice their private lives. Because faxes, emails, and other devices are accessible to their colleagues, customers, and supervisors at any time and everywhere, employees have to respond instantly, even when they are having dinner with family and their private room turns into another office apartment.
In conclusion, people
now enjoy greater well-being, which is reflected in higher quality of work, less travel
-related stress, and close contact with friends. However
, we also
have to accept interruption as an unwanted aspect of convenient communication.Submitted by alamer_ma on
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task achievement
Try to maintain balance when discussing both sides of the argument. While the positive side is well-articulated, the negative side could be more elaborated with additional examples or details to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay generally flows well, using more transitional phrases can create an even smoother connection between ideas. This could help improve overall readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction succinctly presents the topic and your stance, which sets a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Both paragraphs have clear and logical structure, with distinct points supporting your argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples and detailed explanations that help illustrate your points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.