IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The two maps below show the side of a college in 2006 and the present day

The two maps below show the side of a college in 2006 and the present day
#two #maps #show #side #college
The
map
 illustrates two images,
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
depicted
Wrong verb form
depict
show examples
transformation
Correct article usage
the transformation
show examples
 of
college’s
Correct article usage
the college’s
show examples
 location
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2006 to nowadays.
Overall
, the left
map
 basically shows the territory of the college with only a few places,
while
 the right compares the same area, but more developed with new facilities.
To begin
 with, in 2006,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Lynwich
college
Capitalize word
College
show examples
, there were two buildings for studying, one of them situated on
southern
Add an article
the southern
show examples
side
,
while
another
Fix the agreement mistake
the other
show examples
 on
western
Correct article usage
the western
show examples
.
And from
Correct word choice
From
show examples
this
 construction extended a path, which continued until to
library
, which was
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
eastern
Add an article
the eastern
show examples
side
.
Car
Correct article usage
A car
show examples
park
constructed
Add a missing verb
was constructed
show examples
 on the northeastern
side
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
, and on the southeastern
side
 was
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 field. There was a forest, which was located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the roadside and
park
Correct article usage
a park
show examples
, which was between two buildings. In the nowadays
map
, some construction was replaced. Trees in the
park
has
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 chopped down and
instead
 of them,
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
 has moved. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
map
Add a comma
map,
show examples
 we can see a cafeteria, where there is a path, which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to the newly constructed bus stop.
Sport
Correct your spelling
The sports
show examples
 center replaced the previous place of a
library
, and the territory of
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
park
 has diminished, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
this
 area occupied
bike
Change preposition
with bike
show examples
 storage.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, side, library, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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