It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishments is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion ? What sort of punishments should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children ?

There is no denying the fact that kids these days should be

thought

Verb problem

taught

show examples

through gentle punishments sometimes.

Linking Words

While it

Correct word choice

show examples

is a commonly held belief that punishing

children

Use synonyms

could lead them to recognise their wrong actions. There is

also

Linking Words

an argument that opposes it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, kids

Change preposition

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age generally require a good amount of

advices

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advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

and

teachings

Fix the agreement mistake

teaching

show examples

from their

parents

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In other words

Linking Words

, sometimes

parents

Use synonyms

can teach their

children

Use synonyms

how to behave in

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain situations

stricly

Correct your spelling

strictly

, which sometimes can be understood as a punishment.

For instance

Linking Words

, my three years brother used to be violent with his friends, my

parents

Use synonyms

tried to make him understand that his

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

could

result

Add the preposition

result in

result from

show examples

a serious damage to his friend, but he did not pay any attention to what

have been

Wrong verb form

was being

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said,

Linking Words

consequently

Add a comma

consequently,

show examples

my dad had to use with him strict methods like

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

limited screen time, no snacks. Another point to be

considerd

Correct your spelling

considered

that punishments should not be

harmfull

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harmful

physicaly

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physically

physical

psycologically

Correct your spelling

psychologically

. Teachers play a crucial role in teaching

children

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discipline in a better way

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they have studied how to behave with

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

attitudes.

For example

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, my teacher had led me

eat

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to eat

show examples

clean food

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

of my obesity issues, by inspiring me with her positive ideas about self-love and care, as my

parents

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did not have a good relationship with them

selvs

Correct your spelling

selves

as a result

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, I grew up hating

my self

Correct your spelling

myself

show examples

To sum up

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, despite people having different points of view, I believe that teachers and

parents

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can implement a lot of good patterns to

childrens

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children's

show examples

behaviour .

Rahaf7edan

Jul 1, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction.

coherence cohesion

Use more linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.

coherence cohesion

Try to have a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points clearly.

task achievement

You provided a personal example, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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