IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

#countries #people #history #house
In some countries, the number of individuals who are curious to know about the historical background of their living
place
 is rising. There are two main reasons for
this
 trend and two approaches to help
people
 in
this
 way which I will consider now. there are several reasons why
people
 are curious about the history of their living
place
.
Firstly
, the increasing number of floods and tsunamis all over the world, raising the concern of
people
 about the safety of their living places. In fact, if they know whether their house or building is not resistant to earthquakes or other natural calamities, they can move to other safer areas, potentially saving their life.
Secondly
, the number of individuals, immigrating to other countries is growing. These new residents are often unfamiliar with where they move, so knowing their living
place
 not only gives them a sense of belonging but
also
 integrates them into the new community.
Additionally
,
people
 who tend to be informed about the history of their living
place
 can gain information in different ways. the first and most accessible approach is
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. As some old
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 have been living in
this
place
 for years, they can be a good source for gathering data. If
people
 can not have access to their old
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 or are not approachable to transfer information, municipalities can be useful because they keep public records that can be handed over to
people
, giving a good understanding of their living places. In conclusion, I take the view that knowing about culture and the strength of the house are reasons
people
 like to seek the past of their living
place
, which means the more they know, the more they become alert to choose their home.
morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 and municipalities can provide information.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents some reasons and methods regarding why people might want to know the history of their home. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and greater development of ideas to strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is present, but there's room for improvement. Ensure each point flows naturally to the next and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and cohesive devices to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the response well.
task achievement
Main points are supported with reasonable arguments and explanations, showing a good grasp of the subject.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: