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Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

#people #work #hours #employers #employees #lives
There is no denying the fact that long hours of
work
 might cause
a
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apply
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stress.
While it
Correct word choice
It
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 is a commonly held
to
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apply
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belief that when employees
work
 longer
they
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apply
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Correct your spelling
than
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then
 they always do they might feel depressed and
stressful
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stressed
show examples
. There is
also
 an argument
opposes
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that opposes
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 it
.in
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In
 my opinion ,I consider that when you
work
 longer
then
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than
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 you used to do that will make you feel
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and angry.
To begin
 with , most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people suffer about that point and the main reason is the
manger
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manager
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 who
are
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is
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 in charge .
In other words
 , some
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apply
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of
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apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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Correct your spelling
managers
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mangers
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managers
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is
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are
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 taking
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apply
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the
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apply
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advantage
advange
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advantage
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of
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if
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of
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their
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his
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their
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 and
Wrong verb form
making
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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 them
work
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long
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longe
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long
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of
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apply
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Correct your spelling
periods
peride
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periods
.
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In
in addition
, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
show examples
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apply
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of
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apply
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countries
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the countries
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 that have
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apply
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a
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apply
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law about
Wrong verb form
working
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work
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working
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a
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apply
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hours
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 example ,
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in Saudi
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Saudi
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in Saudi
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 Arabia and
UK
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the UK
show examples
. Another point to consider
when
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is when
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 the
compnay
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company
broke
Wrong verb form
breaks
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 they put every worker in
stress
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a stressful
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 mood and
inxaty
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anxiety
. for
instant
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an instant
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 , there is a
company
 in my country called
khreem
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Khreem
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 recently they had a really hard time so they put
there
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their
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 holll team in
depretion
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depression
pirede
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pride
 and some of them
quite
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quit
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 their job .it possible to say that the
company
 and the people who are in charge have the power to control of the station that will
effect
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affect
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 the employees on it .
Moreover
 , when the workers
work
 in
flexible
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a flexible
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 that will
effect
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affect
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 the
company
 in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way and will increase the quality and productivity . In conclusion , despite people having different views, I believe that if the workers
suffers
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suffer
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 from stress and pressure from
his
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their
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 boss or the environment
who
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they
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work
with
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in
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 is not the best that will affect the
company
 in
bad
Change the article
a bad
show examples
 way, so I suggest that every
company
 must make sure to provide
a
Remove the article
apply
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flexible
work
 and give bonuses and vacations and breaks in
middle
Add an article
the middle
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 of the job so
this
 is my suggestion
Submitted by witan.mutairi on

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task achievement
Work on providing a clear and concise response within your introduction and conclusion. Better organization can help make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have a logical connection to each other. Use linking words and phrases like 'therefore,' 'thus,' and 'however.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your main points are well-supported with specific and relevant examples or explanations, rather than general statements.
other
Pay attention to sentence structure to avoid confusion. Improving your grammatical accuracy will make your essay more readable.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided a response for both the reasons behind the issue and possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have attempted to include an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout: A state of physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by prolonged stress.
  • Telecommuting: Working from a location outside of the traditional office environment, usually from home.
  • Work-life balance: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • Flexible working hours: A system that allows employees to choose their working hours within certain limits.
  • Occupational wellbeing: The overall mental, physical, and emotional health of an individual in relation to their job.
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