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Band 4.5

It is arguable that some proponents believe that domestic waste is not recycled properly and they want the government to take actions in order to encourage people to recycle more.

#arguable #proponents #waste #government #actions #people
It is arguable that some proponents believe that domestic
waste
 is not recycled properly and they want the
government
 to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 in order to encourage
people
 to recycle more. First and foremost, the
government
 should issue a law which
taxing
Wrong verb form
taxes
show examples
 houses that
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
recycling
Wrong verb form
recycle
show examples
trash
 from their domestic
waste
.
For example
, the
government
 will charge additional fees to
trash
that is
 not recycled like plastic bottles, cups, steels and glasses. Another reason is that the authorities should provide homes with bags and bins that are
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
 with names to indicate which
waste
 should be put into to make it easier for citizens to separate
trash
 from recyclable
trash
.
Moreover
, those in charge should initiate a campaign that serves
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 purpose that
refunds
Wrong verb form
refunding
show examples
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 for each recyclable
trash
people
 throw away.
For instance
, governments will set up a recyclable truck which will collect and weigh the garbage that
people
 throw out and it will give money back
according to
 the amount of
trash
 weighed.
This
 not only encourages
people
 to collect recyclable
waste
 rather than throw
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 away but
also
 provides a fun and interesting way for
people
 and children to recycle. In conclusion, it is best that the
government
 should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 as soon as possible to issue laws that encourage
people
recycle
Add the particle
to recycle
show examples
trash
 efficiently to prevent long-term consequences.
Submitted by weezel on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task with well-supported main points. However, to further improve, try to provide a more detailed and specific introduction that frames your argument better.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, you could use more varied transition phrases between your paragraphs and ideas. This will make your essay's flow even smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure that flows well. Each paragraph discusses a specific aspect of the issue, making your argument clear.
task achievement
You included relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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