IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part pf high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #pf #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These
days
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 care about their children, some
people
Use synonyms
 think young
people
Use synonyms
 should learn outside of their
school
Use synonyms
, other
people
Use synonyms
 have different thinking they say we should not make stress for young
people
Use synonyms
. personally, I believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 must
work
Use synonyms
 to improve their
skills
Use synonyms
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss both their
Use synonyms
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 and I will give my reasons.
firstly
Linking Words
, one of the biggest points is that working after
school
Use synonyms
 can improve our
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you have a
son
Use synonyms
 who has worked for a short time he will learn a lot from his
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means, when your
son
Use synonyms
 has
work
Use synonyms
 perhaps he
learn
Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
show examples
 a new thing and he will take a new experience.
secondly
Linking Words
, on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think when your
son
Use synonyms
 has plenty of hours he will get life pressure.
However
Linking Words
, we should respect their
opinion
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
, more and more
days
Use synonyms
 young
people
Use synonyms
 have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 different
thinkingThese
Correct your spelling
thinking these
days
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 care about their children, some
people
Use synonyms
 think young
people
Use synonyms
 should learn outside of their
school
Use synonyms
, other
people
Use synonyms
 have different thinking they say we should not make stress for young
people
Use synonyms
. personally, I believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 must
work
Use synonyms
 to improve their
skills
Use synonyms
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss both their
Use synonyms
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 and I will give my reasons.
firstly
Linking Words
, one of the biggest points is that working after
school
Use synonyms
 can improve our
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you have a
son
Use synonyms
 who has worked for a short time he will learn a lot from his
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means, when your
son
Use synonyms
 has
work
Use synonyms
 perhaps he
learn
Correct subject-verb agreement
learns
show examples
 a new thing and he will take a new experience.
secondly
Linking Words
, on the other
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think when your
son
Use synonyms
 has plenty of hours he will get life pressure.
However
Linking Words
, we should respect their
opinion
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
, more and more
days
Use synonyms
 young
people
Use synonyms
 have much different thinking
Submitted by yosf1010 on

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structural
Your essay lacks a clear structure. Aim to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Try starting with introducing the topic and your stance, followed by separate paragraphs that discuss each main point.
development
The ideas are not fully developed and sometimes repetitive. Ensure each paragraph provides a new point or a different perspective relevant to the topic.
language
Minimize grammatical and language errors. Aim to use a range of vocabulary and complex sentences to better express your ideas clearly.
development
You have attempted to discuss both sides of the argument, which is good for balanced discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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