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Band 5.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #diet #outweigh
In a number of countries, following a vegetarian
diet
 has become very popular.
Although
 being a vegetarian can limit the
options
 when eating, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it allows the body to work properly. For vegetarian
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
 it is difficult to find varied
options
 to eat. Since the majority of the worldwide population
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
diet
 that includes animal
products
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 type of
food
 is the one
that is
 normally available at
food
 businesses.
Therefore
,
people
 with a vegetarian
diet
 have to choose between a limited number of plates or
products
 when buying
food
 or eating out.
For example
, in many popular restaurants in Colombia, the menu has only a short vegetarian section which includes only two or three plates that are completely vegetarian.
However
, I believe that those
options
 that are offered are healthier than plates that are sold in large quantities. Following a vegetarian
diet
 allows the body to work better.
This
 is because science has shown that when our human system digests animal
products
,
such
 as meat, it has to work harder to process the
food
 that it is not designed to receive.
Thus
,
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have a
diet
 based on plants and seeds are more prone to have a healthier life because they allow their bodies to focus their energy
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 normal processes.
For instance
,
people
 who become vegetarian are less prone to get sick because their immune system has all the energy focused on fighting bacteria and not causing chronic inflammation because of the
food
.
That is
 why I consider that following a vegetarian
diet
 can have more benefits in the long term. In conclusion,
although
 vegetarian
people
 have fewer
options
 when buying
products
 without animal ingredients, it is my belief that following a vegetarian
diet
 has a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
body
Change noun form
body's
show examples
 functions.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that topic sentences clearly outline each paragraph's main idea. For example, rephrase the first sentence in the second paragraph to directly state that finding varied food options is challenging for vegetarians.
task achievement
Continue providing clear and relevant examples, but try to diversify them by including references to scientific studies or statistical data if possible. This adds credibility.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers the main points of the argument, including the difficulties in finding vegetarian options and the health benefits associated with a vegetarian diet.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and easy to follow, with clear paragraphs and topic sentences. The introduction and conclusion are both present and relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vegetarian diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Carbon footprint
  • Deforestation
  • Animal welfare
  • Nutritional deficiencies
  • Balanced intake
  • Societal norms
  • Meat-dominant
  • Sustainable living
  • Plant-based proteins
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