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Band 8

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?

#technology #workplaces #people #work
Modern
technology
 has changed how
people
work
 in many ways. One big change is that it makes
work
 faster and easier. Computers and software can do boring tasks quickly, so
people
 can spend more time on important
work
. Communication is
also
 better now. Email, chat, and video calls help
people
work
 together, even if they are far apart.
This
 helps projects move faster and lets
people
work
 with others from around the world. Another change is that many
people
 can
work
 from home or anywhere with the internet. During the COVID-19 pandemic,
this
 became very common. Tools like VPNs and cloud services let
people
 do their jobs from home.
This
 helps many
people
 have a better balance between
work
 and personal life. It
also
 means companies can hire the best
people
 no matter where they live and save money on office space. But there are some bad sides to using too much
technology
 at
work
. One problem is that machines and software can replace some jobs, so
people
 might lose their jobs or need to learn new skills. Another issue is that too much
technology
 can make
people
 feel alone. Working alone at home can make
people
 feel lonely and disconnected from their coworkers, which can affect their happiness and job satisfaction. There are
also
 security risks with using modern
technology
. Hackers can attack and steal important information from companies, causing big problems. Companies need to invest in strong security measures and teach employees how to stay safe online. In conclusion,
while
technology
 makes
work
 easier and more flexible, it’s important to be aware of its downsides and take steps to manage them.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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coherence cohesion
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Consider adding further specific examples or case studies to provide a deeper illustration of your points. This helps in making your arguments more compelling and grounded.
task achievement
To add more sophistication to your writing, introduce some advanced vocabulary and complex sentence structures. This will demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task very well, providing a comprehensive response with clear ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bracket the main content, enhancing the logical structure of the essay.
task achievement
The examples of remote work and technology during the COVID-19 pandemic add relevancy and specificity to your argument, strengthening your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Remote work
  • Cloud computing
  • Video conferencing
  • Instant messaging
  • Collaborative platforms
  • Access to information
  • Internet resources
  • Decision-making
  • Skill development
  • Job displacement
  • AI (Artificial Intelligence)
  • Work-life balance
  • Data security
  • Hacking
  • Data breaches
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Technical glitches
  • Downtime
  • Productivity losses
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