Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that nations, which have a longer working
schedule
, are more economically successful than those with shorter working times. This
essay disagrees with that statement because western
Capitalize word
Western
countries
do not have a long working time
and long working hours
put
an adverse effect on a country’s Verb problem
have
economy
.
The primary reason long working hours
are not beneficial to enhance the economy
of a nation
because
the Western world does not follow Add a missing verb
is because
this
trend. This
is because countries
, in North America and Europe, have eight hours
of working schedule
in a day and have time
off at weekends because these countries
give emphasis to work-life balance. This
results in them enhancing their productivity, which eventually boosts the economy
of the country. For instance
, the USA has 8
Correct your spelling
8-hour
hours
shift
in a day for most of the Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
jobs
and individuals are usually free at weekends, which is the key attribute for their rising economy
.
Another reason is that a long working schedule
is detrimental to the economy
of a nation
. This
is because when citizens spend more than twelve hours
a day at the workplace doing the same monotonous jobs
, they get bored because their jobs
are not fulfilling. As a result
, they do not put their efforts into work, which is not beneficial for the economic condition of their nation
. For example
, in India, the
people usually spend 12 Correct article usage
apply
hours
at their
work doing tiring Correct pronoun usage
apply
jobs
. Consequently
, the workers do not put their best into their jobs
.
In conclusion, a long working time
is not as good as a short working schedule
for the economic success of a country because many western
Capitalize word
Western
countries
have moderate working schedules and spending so much time
at work is not beneficial for the economy
of a nation
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task achievement
Although the essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, it would benefit from a more nuanced discussion. For instance, acknowledging exceptions or grey areas could make the argument more robust.
coherence cohesion
Improving paragraph transitions will make the essay more cohesive. Try using linking phrases at the start of paragraphs to better guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion sections are clearly delineated. They should succinctly summarize the main arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
Further detail and elaboration could be added to some points. For instance, more specific examples beyond the USA and India could lend greater credibility to your assertions.
task achievement
The essay effectively uses relevant examples, such as the USA and India, to support its points. This adds a layer of credibility to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points of the essay are clear and well-structured, maintaining focus throughout.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents a clear stance, disagreeing with the statement, and consistently supports this viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured with separate paragraphs clearly dedicated to each main idea, aiding readability and comprehension.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?